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For those of you who think a relationship break is crazy, think again! Even if you’re in a relationship with the perfect person, you could still want a break from your significant other. This could be especially true of couples who spend a lot of time together. Since the pandemic, many are questioning their purposes in life along with other goals. To get answers to these important questions, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break from a relationship to find yourself

NYC is home to psychologist Kristin Davin who says “It can be productive, but the pair must be upfront about what calling a timeout on their relationship really means.” Taking this break, especially in broken relationships, could be extremely helpful. It leaves room for couples to process their feelings and how they feel about their future. 

According to Davin, “Many couples get back together again. What often adds difficulty is when they don’t discuss what [the ground rules for] the break will look like moving forward; that can make it much more problematic.”

Before even considering a relationship break, it’s a great idea to do some soul searching. Both people need to come to terms with why they need a breather.

While taking a break in a relationship may not always appear to be a smart strategy, it can help to put some space between two people in a toxic environment. For some, it can help put a rocky relationship back on a steady track, but when it can’t be repaired, the break serves as a gradual onset to a more permanent solution.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Breakups 

Some relationships end up being so messy, putting the pieces back together is difficult. It could be so bad that you may not ever think you’ll patch things up again, and I’m not going to lie. Sometimes, you just don’t need to repair a bridge. You may find out that you should have burned that bridge a long time ago. 

On the other hand, some relationships have a solid foundation and will withstand the tests of time, and after a relationship break, they may decide it’s best to stay together. However, if you and your other half are constantly bickering and want this break to get relief, then getting back together will require some serious thought and may benefit from a marriage counselor, said family therapist, Carin Goldstein

“Whatever you’re running away from — hostility, power struggles — will be right there waiting for you after the break,” she said. “If your relationship is toxic, be prepared to swim right back into it upon your return.” But if you’re going to take a break in a relationship, it’s an excellent idea to set ground rules. 

Does Taking a Break Help a Relationship? 

There are plenty of couples who wouldn’t think of ever going on a relationship break. Davin thinks “this option can work if couples have a plan.” She suggests that people address the following series of questions: “What are the rules? What is the purpose of taking a break? Will we be staying in contact, dating other people, working on ourselves, and thinking about getting back together?

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Sometimes taking a break in a relationship could revive it and make it better. Don’t listen to friends when they tell you their opinion of a break. Do what you think is best for your relationship or marriage, get professional help if needed such as with your minister or talk to someone who’s been married for 30 or more years. It’s possible a small separation is all a couple needs to strengthen their bond.

What are the Relationship Break Rules?

You must really agree on dating other people or it could get even messier. Discuss thoroughly each other’s feelings when it comes to dating other people, said Marni Feuerman, a couples therapist.

“Figure out if seeing other people would be a deal-breaker for you,” she told HuffPost. “It’s good to hang out with your friends and pursue interests and hobbies but dating could make the later decision-making process more convoluted.”

Know that if you are determined to stay together, you must openly communicate. You and your partner should be able to talk about your expectations, intentions, establish goals, and set boundaries according to R. Scott Gornto, a marriage therapist based in Plano, Texas if you are to benefit from the break. You both can walk away having strengthened your relationship. 

How to Survive a Break in Your Relationship

One of the goals should be establishing a date to decide what your intentions are for the future. You should talk to each other during the time you’re away from each other. Taking a break with no contact for extended periods could be detrimental to couples. 

If you decide to end the relationship, rather than do it on a bitter note, you can go your separate ways while on the break. Taking a break in a long-distance relationship is likely easier as you’re already apart from this person. It can make healing easier possibly. 

On the other hand, separation brings about appreciation. But remember this, a relationship break is not a pass to date other people unless you agree to do so. The time apart should give you time to rethink your relationship or marriage so you gain a new perspective, and not make the situation more confusing by bringing another person into the equation. 

No one wants to be an option or be second. Keeping someone who cares about you on a string is bad business. It could backfire in your face. 


References:

Taking a Break: 8 Reasons Why It’s More Effective Than a Band-Aid https://www.huffpost.com/entry/taking-a-break-8-reasons-_b_5046899  

Taking a relationship break – the beginning or the end? https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/relationship-break

Photo Credit:

https://nappy.co/photo/305/ocean

https://nappy.co/photo/2937/woman-in-desert

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Mikki Donaldson is a southern girl, born in “hard time Mississippi.” She, like her town, has seen many hurricanes, but bounce back each time. Mikki is no different from any other person with a passion, late to bed and early to rise. The writer adores her family and seeks to leave her mark on this remarkable world.