After a breakup, it’s easy to fall into rebound relationships. Some people go out of their way to find them, while others “accidentally fall” into one as if that’s possible.
I generally advise against getting into rebound relationships. The average lifespan of a rebound relationship tends to be quick and typically don’t last long. They last long enough so they sting when it’s over. Rebound relationships are usually not built on anything substantial, but rather are sought in relation to a breakup. Typically, the person just coming out of a relationship is not even interested in the other person or a romantic relationship.
For reasons of their own, people actually want to be involved in rebound relationships. Can a rebound relationship last 2 years? Well, because people are different, it’s a possibility, but it’s highly unlikely, though. Because of the negative emotions that could be associated with the breakup, the hurt person may not be prepared to deal with shame, anger, or sorrow.
Some people self sabotage and suffer from low self esteem. There are people in this world who attract people in pain. What happens is they repeat this pattern of seeking rebound relationships and feel bad because their relationships don’t last. It’s insanity at its best.
Rebound Relationships Signs
What happens, though, if you move on too quickly and don’t take time to heal or address any issues from your prior relationship? You can find yourself in a rebound romance. Here are a few signs that you may be in a rebound relationship. If some of them apply to your circumstances, take note:
- This person just broke up with someone they were serious with
- The new relationship is moving way too fast or feels like you’re being rushed
- The hurt person doesn’t want to talk about their past relationship or his or her feelings
- Wants to have sex like a teenager
- You get mixed signals from the new person
- The new love is self-centered
- You are not invited to events where friends and family are
- They refuse to plan anything with you
- The relationship doesn’t last long
Healing and being able to move forward may take a little time and that’s okay. There is no set period of time for when a relationship is considered a rebound or when it is OK to begin dating again. Because everyone is different, it can take a few months for some, and years for others.
People don’t always deal with failed relationships. They move on to the next relationship and they haven’t healed. Some people prefer rebound relationships for trivial or idiotic reasons such as making their ex jealous. This is one of the reasons why rebound relationships fail.
How Long Does a Rebound Relationship Last?
According to Sadie Allison, PhD, a sexologist and relationship specialist, “If you feel no emotional connection when intimate with her, the relationship may just be for the convenience of having sex and distracting herself from her emotions.”
If the person you’re interested in can’t tell you what went on in their previous relationship or what if anything they learned from it, it’s likely they haven’t fully digested the breakup and are still in love with their ex or want to be with them. If all your new partner want to do is to brag about you to others, this could be one of the signs your ex is in a rebound relationship. I mean, who wants their ex to know about someone new they are dating if they don’t want to make them jealous?
Besides that, it’s likely your new partner is coming off a bad breakup if they’re vague or not wanting to commit to anything.
In a similar situation, if the person you’re dating is always comparing the two of you and always talking about how you’re better than them, it’s my guess they aren’t over their ex boyfriend or girlfriend. The same goes if they don’t talk about them at all.
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do, especially if you’ve invested a lot of time, energy, and money into the relationship. That’s stuff you obviously can’t recover. Allison says, “Many rebound relationships start with the very intention of not being permanent.” Sometimes, the person is straight up and tells you they are not looking for a relationship. Know the signs and stay away from rebound relationships if you don’t want to get hurt.
Featured photo by Jackson David on Unsplash