So, you’ve met this great guy, but instinctively you know it’s going to be difficult. Straight away you can tell because he’s a little slow to let you in. He’s guarding his heart with everything he has left and he’s not treating with like you should be treated and you’re thinking about quitting. Well, what if I told you how to deal with someone who is emotionally unavailable, are you the person he needs or do you have to become the person he needs?
Can you be loyal to someone you’re not even certain will be yours in the end? I mean, is being patient with the guarded man possible? After all, there’s no sense in learning emotionally unavailable psychology and breaking down these walls if you’re not going to be there to pick up the pieces. That’s just cruel.
If you want to know how to get him to open up emotionally, you have to follow specific guidelines. If you want your guy to be vulnerable to and talk about his life, then you can’t make him feel as if you’re intruding or being selfish.
There’s a time, place, and a way to get him to open up, so before you go walking away from emotionally unavailable man, ask the right questions to get him to come to the front line. What’s interesting is that if you’re going to have any success, you must learn how to get him to understand how you feel in all this.
It’s extremely important you show how confident you are, so don’t beat yourself up when he shuts down. Instead, go over this list of questions. The questions will help understand how to deal with a friend who is emotionally unavailable. These questions are only several in a long list of open-ended questions on how to connect with emotionally unavailable man.
- What is his opinion on living the good life?
- Does he feel misunderstood most of the time?
- What are his biggest regrets in life?
- How long was his longest long-term relationship?
- What song sums up his ❤ life?
- How does he define love?
- What relationship advice would he give the younger version of himself?
- Is he friends with his exes?
- What keeps him awake at night?
Before you go asking questions to get him to open up emotionally, determine what to say to an emotionally unavailable man, then, set the mood, and determine how he’s feeling. If he’s had a hard day at work, the last thing he wants to do is answer a bunch of questions. But if the mood is fairly upbeat and optimistic, hit him with a few just to see how he responds and make answering them fun and rewarding.
Maybe offer a hand massage or facial if he answers five questions. Give him a back massage if he answers 10 questions, and so forth. You can write your questions according to your situation and make the prizes fit the kind of answers you get.
When You Push and I Pull Out
If you’re going to get along with an emotionally unavailable guy, do things opposite of what you’d normally do. Most people want what they can’t have, so when you push, they push back and no one gets anywhere.
So you can see how this is a problem? Because getting him to open up emotionally was such a problem, it turned you off. When you’re both pushing, you need to just stop and turn your attention to yourself. Focus on you and learn why the emotionally unavailable man keeps coming back. Or better yet, why you allow it when you deserve better than the crumbs he’s throwing out at you anyway.
When he won’t open up emotionally, start doing things that make you better in terms of personal care. If he sees you’re growing, he may come around. At the same token, he may act needy or despondent. In either case, you’ll see a change in his behavior.
Whatever happens after you turn your attention to yourself, you’ll notice the changes. You may learn that you don’t need to waste your time on an emotionally unavailable relationship. What we all know is you can’t make him or anyone love you if they don’t already have the desire to do so.
It won’t happen if you pray for it. Sometimes closed doors are for reasons that protect us. You can’t ask God to protect you from your enemies and go chasing after them. Think about it.
Final Thoughts on What Makes Someone Emotionally Unavailable
When women start putting all their energies into men who don’t want them, they end up losing the man or themselves. However, smart women (and you’re smart), learn how to deal with someone who is emotionally unavailable and stay true to themselves.
You can’t get this man to love you the way you want right now because he doesn’t value you or intimacy the same. So, don’t take it personally if the latter is the case. Remember, you don’t have to work hard to get people to like you. If you want love, love yourself first.
Begin your days with meditation, prayer, and affirmations. Put on your best looks, including your emotionally unavailable clothing, nails, perfumes, and hairdos. Getting a guy to open up emotionally means you need to stop allowing other men who don’t value you in your life! They block your blessings. You can’t receive the real deal if you’re stuck on the imitations.
(*Read my blog on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man. It may give you some more insight on this kind of relationship.)