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Can you survive a loveless marriage? Surprisingly, some people are doing it and doing it well. Or at least that’s what they are posting on social media and in celebrity news. They are trying to get you to believe cheating on your spouse is okay, too. These people are crafty and use their status to persuade people to swing their way.  

Nowadays, people are trying to preserve the image of a perfect life with the perfect job and the perfect marriage and of course, we know nothing in life is perfect, nothing at all. But we want to keep the butterfly effect going forever. I mean, who doesn’t but is it even possible? 

For those who want a storybook life, they will do anything to save their failing marriages. Truthfully, he could be a great husband. If this is the case, you don’t want to lose him, but the thrill is gone. Does that mean the marriage is over? Is it still a healthy marriage although it’s a loveless marriage?

This article intends to show some of the signs someone is unhappy in their marriage and reveal how to overcome loveless marriage problems.

Is This Really Happening To Me?

Everyone is dreaming of a fairy tale marriage. They want one that’s full of joy and happiness. The couple dreams of being blessed with beautiful and obedient children, a white picket fence, a friendly dog and a great community to live in. But, the opposite could happen and the reality of a marriage gone bad could turn out to be a nightmare.

The signs of a failing marriage are hard to accept and sometimes we would rather go blind than to deal with the consequences of a loveless marriage. Because we care so much for the other person, we can be tricked by our feelings. 

People fall in love with other people in favorable conditions; when they are happy and relaxed, so it’s much easier to fall prey to temptation when trouble is brewing. Life is full of ups and downs, stressful situations, and negative circumstances so it would be crazy to think every time there’s an argument, your spouse would cheat or fall out of love. At the same time, it’s a mistake to think that everything bad happens to other people, because that’s not true either. 

What Are the Signs of a Loveless Marriage?

There are situations in marriages when you feel like your partner is growing distant from you or vice versa, but it doesn’t mean that it’s a loveless marriage.

One of the first signs of marriage without love could be that you are preoccupied with other problems and you avoid any conversation your spouse wants to have about you and your feelings. Also, you may start to feel uncomfortable being alone with your partner, especially when it comes to intimacy. 

How to Thrive in a Loveless Marriage

Disaster and disappointment can occur at the worst possible moments and test the strongest of relationships. When problems show up at your doorstep, what are you going to do?

Well, the first thing that you need to do is make yourself aware of what you can do to change your situation and what you can’t. Once you determine those two categories, you can work on a solution. It is impossible to expect that everything will go without a hitch for the rest of your life. If you read the story of Noah’s Ark, you know even God started over. 

It’s normal to have stress. We live busy lives and dealing with a combination of typical everyday worries like fender benders, dysfunctional family members, issues at work, and ill-health conditions, well, it’s enough to cause anyone to have a serious migraine. 

Sometimes it feels like the universe is picking on you, but you mustn’t see yourself as a victim, but find the strength to overcome the situation. Trust-if you weren’t strong enough to handle the tasks, you would not have been assigned them in the first place.

Some people survive because they detach or live in denial. You let them make their own choices, and you don’t comment on their behavior. If you have children, continue to have meals together and enjoy some of the same activities as a family. Take care of yourself. This will help tremendously. So, let’s go over the signs of a marriage without love so you’ll know what to look for. 

“An unhappy marriage chronically feels bad. It’s like a cold that lingers, leaving you drained and vulnerable,” explains Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph.D. “Symptoms can include severe headaches, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, neck, and back pain.”

How to Survive a Loveless, Sexless Marriage

Coping with a sexless marriage is difficult when you’re loyal to the other person. When you don’t have sexual desires for your spouse and you avoid intimate contact, you may need to seek professional help. It’s one of the biggest signs that something serious is going on within your marriage.

Although no one can tell you when to walk away, a therapist can teach you how to survive a sexless marriage without cheating. They can give you helpful tips to turn things around so that you’re heading in the right direction. In the meantime, do these things: 

  • Talk to your spouse about your needs and figure out what they need. Try new things to rekindle the fire if that’s a possibility. 
  • Try to understand why caused this dip in the sex drive. Stress, depression, drugs or alcohol, medication, or age all has an impact on how we perform in bed. 
  • Surprisingly, having an emotional affair with someone helps the marriage. If you don’t get carried away with the relationships, it could provide some comfort to a sexless marriage. 

Another good sign is anger. When your spouse is always on edge about something and they take it out on you. When everything they say is getting on your nerves, these could be the emotional effects of sexless marriage. To be sure, ask yourself do you notice that behavior often? Or just in some periods? 

Do I Have To Be Honest?

The best way to avoid complicated situations in a loveless marriage is to be honest. This is the key to mutual understanding and one step closer to solving problems. Start with a lot of communication and talk honestly to your partner.

That will show them you still believe them and can rely on them since many of us are staying in a loveless marriage even if for financial reasons. If this is the case, it is important to discuss everyday obligations, especially if you have kids. Meet each other halfway with bills, duties, and chores. Assign more tasks to the children when appropriate. It’s vital to do things that bond the relationships together. 

Who To Ask For Help

If you feel like you have serious problems, but can’t rely on your partner, ask for help. As long as there’s still some form of communication, there is hope. You can choose a person who you trust, like a family member or a friend to confide in. Ask them just to listen to you and refrain from judging your situation. If that’s not possible, go to your pastor or clergy. Help doesn’t always have to be in the form of a therapist or psychologist. If you trust your priest and want to gain strength for your faith, ask for their help. 

Mikki’s Final Thought on a Loveless Marriage

I’ve always thought that love was a condition of marriage. Now, I believe it’s possible to survive a loveless marriage, but it’s a struggle to do so when you’re not talking, when you’re angry, you are avoiding each other, and one or both people are on the defensive. They say the answer to all of our problems is in the Bible. So I Googled prayers for marriages and found a list of suggestions but here’s a few to get you started: 

  • James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
  • Proverbs 10:12 – Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.”
  • Ephesians 5:33 – Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.”

Many marriages started out as a loveless marriage, but given time, love grew. Love was found in the midst of the foundation and it was strong. You must consider a life built on respect, trust and honesty, but when you put God as the head of a union, you can’t lose.

When He puts two people together, it’s forever. That’s the marriage I want. What are your marriage goals? Could you survive a loveless marriage or a marriage without sex? Talk to me before it’s time to check out, tell me what’s on your mind. 


References 

  • How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating                    https://www.bonobology.com/how-to-survive-a-sexless-marriage-without-cheating/
  • How to Survive a Sexless Marriage                                              https://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Sexless-Marriage
  • How to Survive a Loveless Marriage                                https://www.depressionalliance.org/loveless-marriage/
  • 16 Unexpected Signs You May Be in a Loveless Marriage https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a23364794/loveless-marriage/
  • Image found @ https://burst.shopify.com/photos/couple-find-the-perfect-product?c=love Photo by Thom Bradley from Burst 
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