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Dating is harder later in life so what do men in their 50s want in a woman? The answers may surprise you if you’re looking for something outrageous or extreme. When we’re young, we often fall head-first into passions and end up with broken hearts. As you age, you don’t rush into relationships as fast.

Many single men and women or those who have divorced seem to find relationships in later life particularly difficult. So, why is this? Years of experience supposedly improve our lives, not hinder them. There are many reasons love becomes slightly harder as we age, but that doesn’t mean we should give up on it.

While dating is harder when we’re older, it’s not impossible to meet a person you actually like. Instead, understanding the challenges we may face is a key step in the right direction. So, before you ask out that handsome stranger or check out the best online dating sites for older people, think if any of these issues might hold you back.

4 Reasons Dating Is Harder When You’re Older

You’ve Been Hurt Before

While early romances prime us for serious commitments in the future, dating in your 50s as a man is a little different from the younger years. Most older people have been in long-term relationships before and they can leave us with a lot of pain and baggage to deal with. Because of that, dating could be scary. Naturally, after getting out of an unhappy marriage or after the death of a spouse, we want to avoid getting hurt again. 

However, if you’re struggling with this, you may be thinking, does dating ever get easier? Well, for most people, I’d say yes. It’s important to remember how strong you are and how much you’ve already come through. If this feels like an impossible barrier to successful dating, take some time to work on your confidence and deal with your past before you take any romantic leaps.

Self Esteem Needs a Boost

Advertising and social media posts make everything look good. There are beauty apps to take away the blemishes and since we only post the good news instead of the struggles, real life seems like it’s peaches and cream. So when you don’t measure up to those models or to the younger crowd, then some singles aren’t so fast to mingle.

You get caught up in taking care of the family and by the time you’re 50+ you think you don’t need to impress anyone. So you stop working out, and shopping, even grooming becomes less important. Truth of the matter is, you should do it for you. When you look your best, you feel your best and that’s a true story. 

You Have Other Commitments 

Once people enter middle age, they often have responsibilities – such as children, careers, or caring for elderly relatives – to consider before a new love. These commitments force them to put romance in perspective and prioritize their schedule before another person’s. What’s more is the people they meet of the same age will probably have a similar scenario and not much time for close communication and especially not drama. With this mind, why bother dating after 50? There are so many reasons why you should. 

It’s Harder to Meet Single People

It’s so easy to meet people when you’re young, it often feels effortless. You go out with your friends, sometimes even hook up with a stranger–I mean, nothing is off-limits. However, sex and dating after a certain age looks and feels differently. You may not be so interested in the hook-up culture and not want anything superficial. Middle age dating rules are different than those in your younger days. This means any relationships you start might become serious faster. 

A nationwide AARP survey in February (2019) found that 13 million grandparents are down for romance.”

How to meet someone in your 50s? Many older groups join specially designed websites or niche sites as they allow them to meet a larger pool of singles who also have deliberate intentions. One of the best online dating tips is to be particularly upfront and specific in your profile. If you’re looking for a serious partner, say so–it will save you time. Guys who give up on dating say that they are tired of women playing games. They want straightforward answers and questions. 

You Know What You Like 

Many people notice that, as they get older, they become stuck in their ways. Their routine becomes extra important to them, and they aren’t willing to compromise unless there is a good reason for it. This can be an enormous obstacle, as relationships are fundamentally about compromise and fitting somebody else’s lifestyle around your own. 

If you’re sincere, one of the most important tips is to reflect on your priorities. What are you willing to budge on, and what is an absolute deal breaker? Once you know your limits, you can be open with potential partners. This will make it easier to find someone truly compatible with you.

One Reason Age Can Be a Good Thing

Although it might be unnerving to someone dating after 50 and widowed, dating can still be a lot of fun. Yes, dating is harder as you get older, but finding a mate can be more enjoyable now that you know exactly what you want. 

Middle age dating tips often leave out what is fantastic about relationships in later life. You are wiser now. You know exactly who you are, what you want, and how to get it! This makes you a total catch and someone who can handle just about anything. It is always scary to make a fresh start but, with the right attitude, you have a good chance of something worth the wait!

Mikki’s Final Thoughts on Why Dating is Harder

Does dating get harder as you get older? Well, dating is somewhat of a challenge at any age, but especially for older adults. However, as people age, they are not in a rush to fall in love or in bed anymore. When they were in their twinkling 20s and roaring 30s, burning the candle at both ends was exciting and pretty much expected, but now, the trick is, finding someone you’re equally yoked with and just burning a candle over dinner. 

I don’t care what comes out of a person’s mouth; the truth is, we all want someone to grow old with. What do 50 year old men want in bed? They want a companion, that’s what. They need someone around late at night when those toes curl up and not for that reason. Hahahaha, Okay!!!

For some of us, middle age dating is different. Some of us have aches and pains and when the back hurts and we need a back rub instead of the other. 

When you are alone, you start thinking if you made the right decision to swipe left instead of right. Maybe you wish you had answered her friendship request or at least joined the dating site your friend was telling you about. Because singles are getting married late in life and that could be a good thing. The younger years taught a lesson I’m not sure all of us understand. But when you’re ready to settle down, there’s something you should know about love and relationships.

Rebekah and Isaac 

A lot of us are looking for love or the perfect person before getting married, but if you search the Bible, love had very little to do with marriage. If you consider how Rebekah and Isaac met (Genesis 24:1-58), you may say that’s not how to do things, but marriage continues this way for a lot of cultures.

The two met and were married according to how she responded to Eliezer’s request for water. Eliezer had the task of finding Isaac a wife. He said the woman who gave him and his camels water would be the one to marry Isaac.

Based on a prayer to Jehovah and the faith that it was answered, Rebekah left her home with Eliezer to meet her future husband. The union was blessed because what Rebekah did pleased God. Judging from this story, do you think you could be the next success story? Have you tried online dating as an older adult or as a Christian? How did you find it? Did it help you meet a partner? What about the traditional methods? Tell us what it’s like for you dating in your 50s and 60s.


Patricia Jackson, Guest Author

Patricia Jackson is a psychologist and relationship expert. She recently discovered her talent as a writer and is now sharing with people her experiences and thoughts about love, relationships, and family. Patricia loves to spend her free time travelling with her family and developing her creative talents.


References
  • Difficulties of Dating in Middle Age                        https://oureverydaylife.com/difficulties-dating-middle-age-11141.html
  • Online dating is hell on earth for middle-aged and senior singles https://nypost.com/2019/07/24/online-dating-is-hell-on-earth-for-middle-aged-and-senior-singles/
  • What It’s Like to Date After Middle Age        https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/01/dating-after-middle-age-older/604588/
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