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Don’t you hate it when you’re minding your own business and someone comes along and disturbs your groove? Now you’re sitting there wondering why he doesn’t call me anymore when you didn’t have this to do before. 

After a long hiatus, you finally get back out into the groove of things and you weren’t even thinking about dating, dudes, or sex, but there he was. Standing there at your table, looking oh so deliciously good talking about can he take you out. I mean, this man who is drop dead gorgeous wants to take you out. Your day doesn’t get much better than this, so of course, you accept the invitation. I mean, who wouldn’t, he’s fine af, right? Okay.

Yeah, it was like that steamy scene in “Waiting to Exhale” with Loretta Devine and Gregory Hines. You know the scene I’m talking about. It was where time stood still and a heat wave exhausted Loretta and gave her a WAP at the same damn time. Yeah, that’s the one.

It had been so long since you had this much fun with anyone, let alone a man, you didn’t want to let go. The date was perfect! You laughed so much and so hard, you cried. The more you talked, the more you found you had in common. Hell, you were already finishing each other’s sentences. You couldn’t have met your twin flame, had you? 

Regardless, it only made sense you didn’t want the night to end. So, you invite him back to your place. You really didn’t know what was ahead, but the night was going the way you wanted. You were happy and you hadn’t felt this way in a long, long time. 

Before you knew it, it was 5 in the morning. The two of you had a beautiful night together and as he got up to leave, he promised to call you later. The sexy man gave you a kiss on your eyelid and you didn’t question his promise at all. In fact, you were confident and knew he would indeed call after the night y’all just had. Ha! Yeah, he’d call alright because YOU “saw the sun, the moon
the mountains and the rivers” (AZ Yet)! 

So why hasn’t he called? 

What does it mean when a guy says he will call you back but doesn’t? 

It’s been a week and the fact the phone isn’t beeping or vibrating is puzzling. You feel rejected, used, foolish, and stupid for getting your hopes up. Yeah, I know… been there, done that. You thought you had met someone special; you thought the love gods had finally sent someone just for you, hun? They got jokes that ain’t even funny. I hear ya’. 

You are really disappointed he doesn’t call back. I know you are and I wish there was only one answer to why do guys say they’ll call and don’t, but there are many reasons.

You feel bad because y’all had sex on the first night and he probably thinks the worst of you. But the thing is you don’t even get down like that, but he will never know this is not your normal behavior.

In fact, he was the first in a very long time, but that’s not why he doesn’t call you back. I know… you just don’t get it and most women don’t when this kind of thing happens. You just want answers so you go over every single word you said that night and everything you did and you come up with nothing. I did the same thing trying to figure what went so wrong that he doesn’t call me anymore. But I got over it and kept it moving. If you’re in this predicament, here’s some advice for you. 

What to do when he doesn’t call

Well, one thing for sure, queen, you can beat yourself up about something you can’t control. If you know you didn’t offend him, brush your shoulders off. If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, it’s okay. You made a choice and so did he. You’re both adults and you did what you wanted to do and enjoyed yourselves and that’s what counts. You owed that to yourself, but other than that, nobody owes anyone anything.

If you were looking for a relationship out of this meeting, maybe you should have decided on a platonic friendship. Clearly, he wasn’t the one for you whether you slept with him on the first night or the third month. If he was interested in getting to know you, he would stick around and that’s the truth. But just because it’s you, we’ll go over other reasons he’s not calling back and what to do when he doesn’t call back. Okay, here we go! 

Reason #1 – He’s Not Feeling You

The truth hurts sometimes, and this one could be the truth. Often, we make the best out of a situation because we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. While you are exuberant and had fun, it could not have been earth shattering for him, so he’s moving on. 

Reason #2 – He Can’t Afford You

Maybe you gave him the impression you were looking for someone to take care of you. Not everyone you meet lives the good life even done it appears that way. Lots of men live paycheck to paycheck just like women. In this case, you should learn not to be so shallow and change careers or get another job if you need more money. Don’t ever depend on anyone else to take care of you, not even if his name is Jay-Z. If you didn’t know, Beyoncé has her own stacks. 

Reason #3 – It Bored Him

Men like a challenge, and when women give them everything at once, what else is there to do? Men also like women to speak their minds. When the waiter brings you raw meat, and you wanted it well done, ask he take it back and give it to you the way you want it. You’re paying for it. Get it the way you want it. You can’t be a wimp and be his backbone. Speak up for yourself next time.

Reason #4 – He Didn’t Hit 

While some men don’t call back because they hit it on the first date, he doesn’t call me anymore because we didn’t have sex on the first date. And they say women are confusing. Umm, no. Men are definitely from Mars. 

Reason #5 – You Upset Him

Why guys don’t call when they like you? Maybe you said something that wasn’t right with him. Did you insult his mother or football team? If you pissed him off on the first date, there’s a good chance he’s not coming back around. 

Reason #6 – He’s Sees You Differently

We look different with clothes on and without our make up. Since men are visual creatures, they have already undressed you in their minds. When they see the real thing and are devastated by it, they realize they have been bamboozled, so guess who’s not calling you back. Okay… just checking to see if we were eye-to-eye on this.  

Reason #7 – It Embarrassed Him

I’ve seen men get so excited that they arrive before their luggage or their ride. If this was the case, he may not call back. It’s nothing be ashamed of but his ego will not allow him. But real women understand these things happen and he should be a real man about it and call.  

Reason #8 – He’s got a Girlfriend

One of the top reasons I found that he doesn’t call me back right away is because he has a wife already. And they wonder why I didn’t get married when I wasn’t ready to settle down. Hmmm, I don’t think so. Next! 

Reason #9 – Did You Scare Him?

He could have been into you, but you went too far. Yeah, it’s possible to say too much. You should not tell anyone your religion is Voodoo. It is not a good topic to discuss on first dates. Take baby steps next time, baby steps.

Reason #10 – You Smell Seafood?

This odor will turn heads, but not in a good way. I want you to know this goes for men and women. While it goes down in the DM, it should be fresh and clean, clean!

Try that pineapple trick at least 30 minuets before the evening begins And just to be fair, the stink not always what you think. It could be because nobody is drinking enough water. At the end of the day, the diagnosis is the same; how it happened is different. Still, you don’t want to put your pole in the river. Wait for it. Urinary Tract Infections are painful and both men and women can get them. Help yourself by drinking more clear fluids and eating more fruits. 

Reason #11 – It Was Just for a Night

Some men just want to hit it to see what it’s like. Curiosity killed the cat and the dog, too, except they really don’t have 9 lives. Stick a fork in him, he’s done!

Reason #12 – He Doesn’t Call Anybody

I’ve heard this excuse a few times and if I didn’t know the person, I’d think it was a line, but phones are not important to some people. He could be one of those people. In fact, I would have to agree with Kevin Gates when he said “phones be making girls feel unimportant.” 

Reason #13 – Men Likes to Lead 

If you’re calling him, why does he have to call you? Don’t be blowing his phone up acting like you’re desperate and stuff. Stay calm and put the phone down. I can promise, if you don’t call him, he will call you. 

Reason #14 – Doesn’t Have Your Number

So how long to wait for a guy to call before giving up? It’s a personal decision. I’d take it a day at a time, but at least 3 days. If only you texted him at least once, he’d have it still. Maybe he lost or broke his phone and he can’t call. 

My Final Thoughts

Well, those are just some answers to why he doesn’t call me anymore. There are tons more excuses, like he’s busy, or he had your number but didn’t lock it in and now it’s gone. Whatever the reason, it boils down to this: he doesn’t want to call.

So, do yourself a favor and don’t hold a grudge. Remember you had a great time and keep it moving. If he should call later on, he’s going to have a good excuse, but it’s up to you whether you accept it. Since you had a good time, I would gain some understanding of the kind of relationship/friendship this guy wants before I made my mind up.

I’d also put my guard back up and figure out what you want, too.. cause you know what they say, huh? When a man shows you who he is, believe him, my friend.  

Well, that’s all I have for now, queens. It’s time to check out. I’ll see ya’ later!

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