My child doesn’t like my new partner and it scares me to death. I don’t know about you, but it freaks me out to date sometimes so I need all the help I can get to weed out the bad apples. With everything going on in the world, it’s sad to hear child abuse stories because the mother wasn’t paying attention to her child and her partner’s relationship.
The news reports a child suffering from abuse and by the hands of a woman’s boyfriend all to often. Otherwise, tune into the Steve Wilkos Show and see the results of a torn family.
If not that, then it’s the age-old story about a woman blaming a black man for hurting her kids and it turns out to be a bogus claim. When we hear horrible abuse stories against babies, I think about why my child doesn’t like my new partner. We are quick to blame the mother, and often, it’s a sign we shouldn’t be dating this person.
However, the signs are not always visible when your partner and child don’t get along. Some abusers are experts and will put the fear of God into your child and they will hold the secret for years if not discovered. Child molesters at pretty good at hiding their malicious skeletons and deceptions. Because of this, there are many signs she and others around them may not see.
When you date new people and your kids don’t get along with them, is it that you need to learn how to help your child accept a new relationship? You try and screen the people you date, because you never know who you’re bringing into your life and your child’s life. Regretfully, it can even be the child’s biological father who hurts them the most.
We need to be clear on the warning signs. My child doesn’t like my new partner and there’s a reason for it. Children will tell you when something is not right if only we listen. You must be in tune with your gut instinct as well while we’re thinking about these signs.
Again, you can take as many precautions as necessary, but some people slip through the cracks. There are just as many women abusers as there are men, so let me set the record straight before you think I’m judging or bashing a gender. As parents, we are responsible for who comes into their lives.
You want to make sure the new person you’re dating is serious and knows you have children or a child right away. The person you choose to date should be mentally stable, mature, and can deal with stress with a cool head. If the person you’re dating pops off at any given irritation, you may need to think seriously about leaving your children with this person or even dating this person.
You should be dating with a purpose to start with if you’re bringing them to meet your kids. Regardless of your relationship goals, here are some of the red flags or signs of an abusive partner.
How Bad Does He Want to Meet the Kids?
If your date wants to meet your children right away and start spending time with them, I’d consider this as a red sign. I’d have to find out why it is so important that he meet my kids right away. Moving too fast in relationships scare me even to the point I would think about quitting the relationship.
Does Your Partner Self Medicate?
Most of us have a “thing.” Some of us smoke cigarettes or weed to release stress; some of us take a shot of alcohol to cool off. Then some must have it no matter what the day brings or what time of day it is. My child doesn’t like my new partner because he drinks too much, and you know what, I don’t it either.
Protecting Your Child from Toxic Family
So you checked out his family, right? How do they react to stress and drama? Do they stir the tea all the time and it’s not for profits on YouTube? You should take this as a sign that this behavior is the norm. It’s sad but sooner or later they will probably resort to petty behavior when it comes to your children.
Is History Repeating Itself?
Does your partner have a history of toxic family stories? It’s likely your parents treated you the way their parents treated them, and if so, you will treat your children that way. Sadly, the cycle keeps repeating itself. That is until someone straightens up and flies right. With this in mind, has your partner decided on a better and more positive outcome? This is something to think about since my child doesn’t like my new partner.
Can’t Manage Emotions
As an adult, you should be able to control how you feel or how you react to a situation. Self-control is a must when facing challenges of the day, especially when dealing with children. My child doesn’t like my new partner because the adult is acting like a 2-year-old.
My Boyfriend Gets Annoyed with My Son Fast
If your partner overreacts to the little things now, how will it be moving in with new partner+children? Will he or she react badly to an accident? If he can’t handle the little things, he may find your energetic children just a little much and get angry with your kids over nothing.
Boyfriend Not Bonding with My Child
Some people are stubborn; however, if your mate is dead set against listening to your children explain their view, it may be a problem. No two people are the same, and because children are small, does not mean they shouldn’t be treated with respect. Twins are not the same, and no one should treat them the same.
“I Didn’t Do It”
What parent hasn’t heard “I didn’t do it!”? No one ever does anything in my house although I’m looking at the paint on the wall. But when grown-ups can’t admit to doing something wrong or saying something crazy af, there’s an issue. Adults should take responsibility for their actions, period.
There are at least 8 types of abuse, but if you were ever physically abused before, you know any form of abuse ain’t no fun. You don’t know when that person will hit you again. If he or she does, will this be the last time you take a breath? No one should live in fear; it is no way for you or the children to live.
If your partner hits you or the child, leave. Point blank, leave. It’s not worth it. You can’t have your child growing up thinking violence is okay. Beating someone up is no way to treat anyone. Violence is never the answer unless you are defending yourself against someone. Before you commit to any relationship, learn how to protect yourself from toxic family members.
My Child Doesn’t Like My New Partner
Now, if my child didn’t like a man I brought home, he had to go. My mom taught me that one. I could like the guy, but if my daughter had funny feelings being around him, I wouldn’t date him.
If you promise to keep it a secret, I’ll tell you something. Some people will get this, and some won’t, but if I smoked weed around you and got paranoid, I didn’t FWY, at all. So, combine the two, and it was a wrap. That was a deal-breaker.
But I wouldn’t be wondering why my child doesn’t like my new partner or if he’s putting hands on her. I actually grew to depend on my daughter’s “approval” or “disapproval.” Don’t take the red flags or rumors of child abuse stories for granted.
Which of the signs resonate with you? Was there something your mom taught you to look out for? If so, visit my FB fan page and leave me your comments about this post. Thanks a lot. I appreciate you all.
Read more: The Issue of Child Abuse. https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/
Products: The Big Book of Bad Baptist Preachers: 100 Cases of Sex Abuse of Children and Exploitation of the Innocent. https://amzn.to/3mriB6A
Spilled Milk. https://amzn.to/3oDV8kz