You might be dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and don’t know it. It’s not that uncommon in the dating world, so if I were you, I find out how to handle someone with borderline personality disorder.
The experts describe this condition as a chronic mental disorder, but many of us mistake for something else. This personality is unstable, and so are the relationships they find themselves in. If you’re in a relationship with somebody who has it, prepare yourself for an emotional ride. You’ll go from being in love to being all shook up. If you’re the person with BPD, I know you’re not having much fun either.
Intimacy and the Borderline Personality
While thinking of individual relationships, most people with borderline personality disorder fear intimacy. There are more individuals in this world afraid of getting close to other people than you may think.
Yep, you may call them commitaphobs, players, or even promiscuous. They are always talking about how they don’t want to settle down, or they frown at being with one person forever. It makes sense that they don’t want to get involved in relationships because they may get hurt, and often, it’s their own doing.
Then again, I run into a lot of people who fall in love way to fast or so they think they’re in love. But this feeling of euphoria happens at the beginning of the relationship. When the newness wears off, they start showing their true colors and become dominant. They get upset quickly when the other person doesn’t return their calls right away, thinking they are cheating.
Just as they are givers, they are disappointed a lot, too. At first, they are so in love, but then when the slightest things go wrong, they show out in a bad way. When a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship, the pain of being abandoned again sets them off, and they end up in a rage.
Borderline Personality Relationship Pattern
If you don’t do drama, don’t date a borderline. People with BPD are highly passionate individuals, and because disappointment happens often, they sometimes can be suicidal. They think death is a way out, and sadly, it is a way out, but it’s not the answer.
When you’re dating a man with borderline personality disorder, you could be in a relationship that’s full of drama, though it could be exciting. If you like the intensity of this kind of stuff, the borderline personality could be the person of your dreams. This relationship is filled with compassion, jealousy, and anger. You may even break up to make up, though not all borderline personality disorder romantic relationships are the same.
Borderline personalities have commonalities such as:
- Borderlines want everyone vital to them to love them back. If not, they are depressed and feel worthless. Sometimes they threaten suicide or indulge in self-injury
- Borderline personalities are impulsive and participate in risky behavior such as “gambling, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship”
- The borderline personality believes that they are nobody by themselves, they need people to ‘be somebody’
- Mood swings that last anywhere from two-three hours to two-three days
- They feel as though the people around them don’t care the same for them
- Despite what they do, people leave them behind, no matter the good things they do
- Therefore, they have an intense fear of being abandoned
- Saying no to someone with borderline personality disorder will shatter their world
So, now that you know this, you’re probably wondering how does borderline personality disorder affects relationships? Let’s talk about it.
Is Having a Borderline Personality Disorder Serious?
BPD is a real illness. If you have it, expect to go through mood swings and even psychotic episodes. Ignoring someone with borderline personality disorder is the wrong thing to do. There will be problems mainly because it’s hard for this destructive person to control their feelings and emotions. They can also be vengeful and unforgiving individuals, not to mention, they are capable of mastering the silent treatment.
To me, a sin is a sin, so for me to say one mental disorder is not as severe as the other is crazy. Yep, I said what I said, but just so we’re clear; Borderline personality disorder is a serious condition. However, BPD is about fear, pain, and coping. These people are wounded and need healing. Most suffer in solitude because friends, relatives, and loved ones think they are a lunatic when they are hurting and misunderstood.
There’s a critical aspect of dating someone with borderline personality disorder you must understand, and this is they are not malicious people. They work within their logical and limited mindsets, but here’s the kicker: people with BPD are codependent.
These men and women are attracted to and attract other people who suffer from co-dependency. Besides that, people with borderline personality disorders have low self-esteem, are apologetic even when they are not wrong, plus they tend to appease others or situations to avoid drama. Nonetheless, they want stability and balance in their lives. Someone who can control their feelings is a perfect match for someone with BPD.
If you want to know if you’re dating someone with borderline personality disorder, get to know a few of the signs. This personality can be impulsive, exhibit extremely irrational behavior, and have distorted perceptions of dating, relationships, and reality. Because of this, they will have difficulty keeping friendships as well as intimate relationships.
Unfortunately, most people think of BPD as an untreatable condition, but there is hope. Borderline personalities can learn to manage their illness with therapy and a treatment plan and have flourishing relationships. Join a BPD dating site to find friendships and love.