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Dating is never easy. You’re vibing with the person sitting next to you; it’s that kind of chemistry you don’t find every day so you don’t want to scare them away, but you know you have to tell them sooner or later. Dates are filled with awkward moments, especially first dates. When you’re dating with chronic illnesses or disabilities, it can be tough. So, do you tell them you have an illness or disability on the second or third date? Do you wait until one of you gets serious? Why does dating with chronic illness have to be so complicated? 

Dating with an invisible illness, it’s hard to know exactly when to tell someone about something as personal as you have a chronic illness. When you’re on a dating app, it’s easy not to mention it because potential matches haven’t seen your entire body yet. They don’t know you’re coughing up a lung as you type, or you were in an accident and now confined to a wheelchair

black woman in a wheelchair
Everyone has a story to tell. Some of our disabilities are visible while others are not, but we are all deserving of love and affection.

One thing though, you don’t want to tell them too early. If only you could be sure the person you like would be understanding of your imperfections, you could be honest first and foremost. 

Dating with Chronic Illnesses and Romantic Relationships

With all the niche dating sites, you decide to join these dating apps hoping to find someone special right away. The person of your dreams answers the ad. They are attractive, cavity-free, and there are no physical signs of a ring or SO in the pictures. The ad reads, “Single romantic looking for slow walks on an island, soft music at the piano bar and restaurant,” and you think it’s a perfect match! 

However, if you’re looking for someone like you suffering from some kind of illness or disability (MS, cancer, lupus, IBS, or lung disease), it would not be on most people’s profiles. It will be if you join chronic illness dating apps, even mental illness, and addictions. 

The dating services believe that when you connect with someone who has a health condition, singles will understand their problems and issues. If you’re dating while sick, having someone who gets it can only strengthen a relationship. It certainly takes away any awkwardness that may come with dating with chronic illnesses. You already have so many things in common, and it’s a relief to know that this person is not going to judge you. If you’re ready to mingle with others like yourself, take a look at a few of the websites created with you in mind. 

Match.com 

Who hasn’t heard of Match? They have been around long enough to appreciate the diversity of people dating with chronic pain and created a dating site for singles with disabilities. You use it just like any other site, just adjust the search to filter the dating profiles, and you’re able to view people with disabilities. 

Gusty Dating 

If the name is any indication of the website’s niche, then you already know it’s dedicated to singles with digestive issues such as Crohn’s disease. Everyone in this chronic illness dating site understands how vital a rigorous diet is to your health. 

Zoosk

Don’t leave Zoosk out of the dating apps for people with illnesses and disabilities. You’re able to filter the results to match your demographic needs, age, and relationship type. 

Disability Match 

This dating service offers singles in the UK a membership profile that targets people with a wide range of disabilities. It helps members make the most out of their approach to dating with disabilities. 

Lemonayde

The Lemonayde dating app is perfect for anyone with chronic health issues. The website owner sufferers from a skin condition and decided to help others dating with disabilities and illnesses. Just because you’re sick or have a situation, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love and happiness.

Note: I only found Lemonayde on Facebook, and their last post was, umm, last year. So then, I found a site called Lemonade. Yeah, just don’t bother clicking on it either. No one’s home. This is just the kind of thing to discourage anyone from online dating, but don’t allow it to take away from your search for the right one. Keep digging. There are plenty of legit sites out there.

Dating Site to Avoid 

Currently, there are all kinds of websites available to single people. Who am I kidding? Married folks as well can join a dating service to meet other married people. Again, there are all kinds of sites on the web that cater to a particular group of people. No one should be lonely. However, there is this one site that has been flagged as “ill-advised.” 

NoLongerLonely is a dating service matching people with mental illnesses together. There is only one person behind this site, and he’s been doing it since 2004. The owner has his challenges suffering from a schizoaffective disorder. Unfortunately, the fact that two mentally ill people are dating isn’t my idea of a happy and lasting relationship. 

Final Thoughts on Dating with Chronic Illnesses

In relationships, it takes one person to balance the weaknesses of the other. Mental illness is not like other chronic conditions. I just don’t see it being a healthy relationship by no means. I’ve seen what can happen when women rage out on their cheating partners. I can only imagine what someone with a clinical condition can do, but when there are two opposers together, there could be deep trouble. However, if they do decide to enter into a relationship, I can only wish them and those dating with chronic illnesses and disabilities well. 

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