Can married men and women be friends? It’s been my experience that the married woman male friend relationships happen all the time. Men and women work closely together and in some situations, really close. But in this day and age, they are known to cohabitate. It doesn’t mean they are sleeping together.
Of course, I’m not so naive to say it could never happen, but coexisting is highly possible. But when married women have other male friends in the same house, it could become a problem.
Mostly, they say, it’s the man who has hidden motives and not the woman. He’s just fronting, they say and just waiting for the right moment to make his move. You see, women are sometimes “Ray Charles” (blind) to the fact a man is interested in her especially if she’s just not feeling him. But you never know what dude got going on in his mind.
Sure, he appears to be the understanding and sympathetic type, but we all know men don’t listen! So what are his reasons for being attentive? Something to think about, huh. Married women can have friends of the opposite gender because they are not attracted to their male friends.
But to keep down confusion, you can follow the example of one married woman who won’t even hold a conversation with a male outside of work, let alone get too close to a married man. In fact, some people believe they should never go out with a member of the opposite sex unless their husband was present and only if it was work-related.
I realize this is a bit old school and it probably doesn’t fit in with modern-day dating schemes, but I can see where a married man and married woman friendship could be questionable. Nevertheless, trust should be at the helm of any relationship. The other quality you want to make sure of is transparency in your relationship or marriage. In addition, to keep your spouse happy, it may require you to compromise, but it will be worth it in the end.
Can Men Be Friends With a Married Woman?
If you’re a male and your best friend is a woman, you likely confide in her about everything. You talk about sports, your job, and you may even discuss your relationships with other women to her. You talk about the same things you and fellas discuss, well, with a few exceptions. Whatever the subject may be, it’s reasonable to say you and this married woman would eventually form a bond. It’s natural… it’s what happens when you have intimate or meaningful conversations.
The problem with forming this bond is it could very well lead to one of you developing certain feelings. If this is the case, you could end up having an emotional affair that puts you in the danger zone. If you have a Bible-based marriage, you should know the good book tells you about temptation and warns you of friendships with the opposite sex outside of the marriage.
Thinking about this, should married men have female friends? Can women have male friends? Yes, they can but it may not be the wisest decision ever made considering your husband has not yet decided on your male bestie. I, personally, think it’s unfair to have to choose between your spouse and a long-time friendship, but sometimes, it’s necessary.
I know you didn’t build a 20-year friendship only to say adios amigos because your husband doesn’t approve. But here you are trying to decide whether to keep your long-time friendship or to cut ties with the dude who’s been there for a lot of firsts, a lot of boo-oohs, and a few bad hair days in between. You were so close that he knows when to bring you that chocolate bar.
And sometimes logical-thinking women will do crazy things to show they are not at all interested in anyone except their husbands. It can be all about fun for the woman and men will take a woman’s invitation to lunch to mean something more. It doesn’t matter that you’re married or that she’s happily married, he will hear she’s interested in me.
Final Thoughts on Being Friends with a Married Woman
So, what’s your opinion? Should married women have other male friends? I think some couples can make it work though it’s totally a personal decision. What works for the Jones’ may not work for the Browns. Whatever you decided, you definitely don’t want to put your marriage in jeopardy because of it and you don’t want to lose a real friend you’ve known half your life.
One way to keep the dust down is to never put yourself in a situation where your husband could question your behavior. It may mean keeping your male friend at a distance, however. Always be honest with your husband but realize you must trust each other at the end of the day.