Marriage Counseling: Why Couples Should Seek Guidance
Almost every young girl dream about her wedding day but she never thinks of marriage counseling. She imagines the marriage will last forever and forever will she be happy, but such is not always the case. In fact, only “2 out of 3 marriages will make it to their 10th anniversary.” On the other hand, some unions survive the ups and downs for 40-50 years or more.
According to Marriage Counseling Statistics, out of 134 “chronically and seriously distressed” married couples, 48% showed clinically significant improvement at 5 years after receiving 26 weekly therapy sessions, and 27% were separated or divorced. The remainder showed no change or had deteriorated relationships.”
In the event the relationship starts to have more problems than solutions, couples seek help. Often, the help comes in the form of a marriage counselor. It could be the best thing that happens to your marriage. Or marriage counseling makes things worse, ironically.
Then, do you just toss your marriage and get a divorce or do you try it on your own one more time? In reality, some couples should seek marriage counseling advice before they decide to break up. When the couple agrees the relationship is worth saving, it would be to their benefit to seek pre-divorce counseling to save their marriage.
Marriage Counseling Teaches Couples How to Communicate
One of the reasons for problems in a relationship is a lack of understanding and communication. Since many people don’t have the necessary communication skills, a lot goes unsaid. Because of interruptions and ill tempers, you won’t finish a conversation, so you get nowhere.
With this said, it’s best to have a mediator to help guide the discussion so it’s productive. Nowadays, you can seek marriage counseling online instead of leaving your home. So, with this in mind, be slow to sign the divorce papers.
With the best intentions, a relationship therapist may suggest addressing secrets in couples counseling. You know, to get all of the hidden emotions inside. It could be something in the past you’re holding on to that evades your future and present relationships. Letting go of the past will help couples seeking marriage counseling move forward.
Marriage and Divorce Impact Children
There are special instances when a marital psychologist will suggest divorce. While divorcing couples want to stay together for the sake of the children, it’s not always the best idea. Children, young and old, experience a wave of emotions when their parents are unhappy and remain in a volatile environment.
On the other hand, “Children have the strong belief that there is only one right family relationship, and that is Mom and Dad being together,” says licensed counselor and therapist Steven Earll. “Any other relationship configuration presents a conflict or betrayal of their basic understanding of life. In divorce, children [tend to] resent both the custodial and absent parent.”
The sad truth is half of the children in the US will see their parents go through at least one divorce. If you grew up with both of your parents in the home, chances are you won’t get a divorce from your second husband. Women who had a single parent are more likely (49%) to get a divorce.
Marriage Counseling Helps Future Relationships
How does marriage counseling work in favor of future relationships? Having the insight of a past relationship will help when a similar situation arises. In reality, marriage counseling may not work for everyone, but if you use the tips to prevent it from happening again, relationships may last longer.
“The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists has found that 98% of people surveyed said they received good or excellent therapy, while 97% said they got the help they needed.”
How to Save a Marriage on the Brink of Divorce
With all the decisions couples must make, our advice is to avoid rushing in. Additionally, don’t compare your marriage to your parents or to your neighbors. It’s unfair to do so. Divorcing couples should seek marriage counseling before differences become irreconcilable. Be honest and confront the problems head-on.
Studies show insecure individuals are more likely to face a divorce than someone who is confident and self-aware. If you have put on weight or lost weight, it could affect the way your partner sees you. Consequently, this could affect your marriage.
When we get married or fall in love with someone, we do so with the total package. When any part of our physical or emotional self changes, it changes the way our partners sees us. In this case, you may want to check yourself.
Speaking of the beginning, most couples put the other person’s needs first. Are you still doing this? If not, you may want to make your spouse a priority instead of a choice or chore. Go back to the way things were when you were dating. Call and make the date, pick her up… the whole nine. This seriously works.
You may think this is silly, but it’s not. One center for couples therapy recommends making your spouse laugh out loud as much as possible. If their time with you is spent nagging and complaining, they are not going to want to be with you.
As much as laughter is important, so is communication. Don’t make the mistake of not forgiving or talking to your spouse openly. You don’t want to always have self-doubt and lingering questions hovering over your head that may have saved your marriage. If online counseling doesn’t strike you as helpful, find marriage counseling in your area.
When relatives and friends find out about the divorcing couple, there will be questions. Everyone will try to be of assistance, but the best way to handle a divorce is to seek marriage counseling. Although it’s not a guarantee, many couples stay together after therapy and live happily ever after. Still, couples get married, divorce each other and remarry. However, if you plan to remarry someone new, consider marriage counseling for engaged couples.