Dating with Intention: What You Should Know Before Committing
Are you dating someone new? You should be dating with intention. It feels good to have someone to share your life with even if it’s just for the moment, but if you’re going to date, you should be dating with a purpose.
For those who don’t know what dating with intention means it’s “dating someone you can see yourself marrying, dating solely with the end goal of marriage, or simply: dating to marry.” While it’s okay to date with these goals, it does add more pressure on the people dating each other, unless you met on one of those conscious dating sites.
Why a person dates in a clear indication of how he sees dating. Someone looking for an NSA or an open relationship is not looking to settle down and get married. Nope, commitment and marriage are last on the list of interesting topics. So, while you’re laughing over a few drinks or cups of coffee, you should ask ‘what are your intentions.’
In addition to that, you should already have paid attention to a few things. Let’s find out exactly how much you know about the person you’re dating.
Clarity in Dating
So, y’all have been chopping it up for several weeks now, going out, hanging out with friends and everything is lovely. However, the question still remains, ”what are we doing?” You don’t have a title, but you’re pretty sure you don’t want to see anyone else, but what about him? Is he dating with intention? If you don’t know the answer to this question, it’s about time you find out.
Ask him what is he looking for in a relationship. It may be too soon to decide on marriage, but he can surely tell you if he wants to get married someday. Better yet, he should know if he wants to take the relationship to the next level and commit to a one-on-one relationship.
What are His Bad Habits?
During the first 30 days of dating, you’re probably not going to see any of his bad habits, but trust, we all have them. It could be something as simple as slurping a cup of coffee or a bowl of soup. On the other hand, it could be drinking every day or gambling or even drugs.
You could ask your new friend but the fact is no one readily admits to their bad habits and if so, they will likely play it down a bit so it doesn’t sound so bad. If they are totally honest and you think you can live with it, then, by all means, go for it.
How Much Money Do They Spend?
Since you have been together for a moment now, you can get a good view of their spending habits. Are they lavish spenders and then complain about their bills at the end of the month or do they get paid on Friday and be broke on Monday?
It may not be as important because you’re only in the first stages of dating right now, but if you’re dating with intention, this could be a deal breaker for conscious singles. One of the arguments couples have is over money. Find out his spending habits before you commit.
Dating with Intention and Goals
What are some good intentions in a relationship? Do ask your potential mate about his or her goals or ambitions in life. You should be asking questions like:
- What drives your partner out of bed every day?
- Does he have a hobby which he can turn into a money making opportunity?
- Is he happy with having the basic necessities in life and doesn’t plan on anything but lives in the right now?
- Does he have a stable career now and what about the next five years; does he have a plan to move up the ladder?
- Can you support his dreams or are they just silly as you-know-what?
- Are your goals compatible with his?
You may want to consider these questions and answers as they will tell you a lot about the person you’re thinking about having a long-term relationship with.
Dating with Intention? You Must Meet His Family
Being around his family will also tell you more about the person you’re dating. Is his family the church-going type? Do they hold family dinners or get-togethers regularly and is he invited? Once you get to know them, are they the kind of people you want as your family, too?
What Kind of People are His Friends?
Try to meet his friends in small gatherings rather than large groups. This way you’ll have a chance to see who’s his go-to for advice, who is really is his friend and who’s not. Are these the type of friends who will respect you as his wife and will you be one of the crew?
Does He Take Care of His Responsibilities?
Okay, so he has a good job and all but does he pay his bills on time? If he has children, does he see them regularly and if not, please ask why.
This is so important to women we understand what’s holding him from being the best father he could be. It’s especially significant if you want to have his children. How does he handle chores he doesn’t want to do? Consider your intentions with a guy before you decide if he’s the man for you.
How Does He Handle Stress and Conflict?
Sometimes, an argument is a good thing. It will tell you how he handles conflict or deals with stress. Now, I’m not suggesting you start an argument, but find out what’s he’s passionate about. If you do happen to argue, how did he cope? Was he cruel with intention or did he shut down? Did he walk away and ghost on you? You want to find out how he handles conflict before you decide to commit.
Dating with intention can help you weed out the men who will waste your time and break your heart. Don’t be fooled by pretty white teeth and a luxury car. In fact, you may want to learn how to write intentions for manifestation. This will help you to attract the right guy. Still, take your time and do it right. What is conscious dating if you don’t use the 90-day rule? If he can’t wait for a few months, that in itself will tell you what you need to know.