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I must confess I don’t know how to talk dirty, especially without being awkward. Do you? The first time someone asked me to do it, I was thrown off guard and that doesn’t happen very often. I was utterly lost as to how to talk dirty to a man not to mention; I felt naive.

Since you’re referring to this article, I can only presume you desire a little guidance yourself. I can provide some basic material, but you’re going to have to do the dirty work. (haha) I naturally have a provocative voice, so it wasn’t difficult to pull sounds off, but finding the right words to turn him on was frustrating! 

It drove me crazy when my partner tried to sound seductive. I couldn’t figure out what in the world he was saying—it was like he was whispering or embarrassed himself. As it turns out there is good news. Women are not the only ones puzzled by this request.

According to a study (The Perception and Parameters of Intentional Voice Manipulation) by Albright College, men aren’t as compelling as women when it comes to dirty talk. Imagine men may not know what to say themselves.

“Because they don’t know what to say, they get tripped up,” explains Jaiya, the author of Blow Each Other Away. I mean, I was thinking “What does he want me to say? What if I sound weak, or foolish even? I really needed someone to teach me how to talk dirty without being awkward.”

In either case, I couldn’t let him know I was clueless, so I winged it. Not so surprising, he never asked again. (That’s too funny!) But, I’m not going to let that happen to you. Here’s my advice on the matter. 

The Ultimate Guide to Dirty Talk

If you’re going to engage in dirty talk, it’s important to express what your desires are. You should also share what you want to do with them or rather, to them. Tell them ahead of time and while you’re slaying the act. Say what you like about what you’re doing. “The words that turn your partner on might be tender and loving—that can be just as highly arousing,” Jaiya adds.

If you’re into sun signs compatibility, you may want to know how to talk dirty to a Cancer man. It’s important to remember, men are from Mars so knowing their zodiac sign may make a difference. Nevertheless, men are visual creatures, but the Cancer man loves to talk so turn on your sexy voice, put on some wicked lingerie, and talk dirty to him.

When a man has erotic expression skills, they can say some pretty arousing stuff. To turn this man on, be mindful of his sensitive nature. At the same time, he may want you to make the first move. Be sure to tell him he’s the best, and how no one can compare.  

For those who have difficulty coming up with dirty words, we have some for you specifically in this how to talk dirty guide. The guide wouldn’t be complete with what not to say as well.

How to Talk Dirty and Relax

Learning how to talk dirty shouldn’t cause you to have anxiety attacks. Just be yourself as much as you can be and don’t worry about screwing this up. You should know how to talk dirty to a long distance girlfriend as it will help keep the relationship alive. 

You should also know what turns your partner on and whether or not they curse like a sailor. These points will tell you what you can say to your partner and what you can’t.

Some people find cursing to be completely un-arousing,” says Ruth Neustifter, Ph.D., author of The Nice Girl’s Guide to Talking Dirty. However, you should take it slow and be careful not to offend your partner while trying to arouse them. There is a thin line between talking dirty to your lover and making someone feel dirty.

Use Key Words

I bet you or your partner has a nickname for that special body part. You may even have a code name for ‘knocking the boots’ that really piques their interest. Sometimes just the mention of it will get their motors revved up.

Now, if you’re still not sure you can learn how to talk dirty without being awkward, try sexting. It takes away some of the embarrassment of being face-to-face. Sexting is one way to get your partner’s juicing flowing or the blood racing to his head. 

They will think about the events to take place later on with much anticipation. “Start by sending dirty text messages back and forth,” suggests Ruth Neustifter, “This is a great way to figure out what words they like,” because some people hate to use swear words.

You could start off by saying “My mind envisions you lying in bed, the sheets partially covering you. One long leg fully exposed, the other a knee sneaking out. The sheet lay across your breast, low on one side, just hiding those which jiggle when you walk. My, oh my, what a sight to behold.”

They’ll respond with excitement, filling your mind with dirty thoughts, new positions, and new flavors.

Talk Dirty While You’re Aroused

Don’t be ashamed to tell your partner you’re about to wet the sheets. Look into his eyes and whisper how your body is already creaming with excitement.

Jaiya says these blow-by-blow accounts will not only arouse him but your senses as well. This makes you and your partner feel more confident. However, “if you’re not being authentic or you aren’t comfortable, they’ll feel that,” says Jaiya. If you’re not sure what to say and need how to talk dirty to a man examples, here you go. 

  • I need you right now
  • Your body looks amazing, baby
  • I love the way you feel 
  • Hmm… do you like that?
  • Don’t do anything, just relax and enjoy the ride

Talk dirty in a soft and quiet voice and tell them what’s about to happen. “Your tone can be funny and joking. It (dirty talk) can be cute or teasing, innocent, or absolutely naughty,” says Neustifter. “I encourage women to think about times when they feel the most confident and carefree.”

Be Descriptive

How to talk dirty to Aquarius man? For many born under this sign, details turn them on. Phrases such as “I love when you talk to me like that,” “You look so hot right now,” and “I love when you grab me like that,” excite your partner and can make love making more intense.

Tips to turn on the Aquarius man: Don’t let him touch you right away when you’re making love and don’t be afraid to take control or try new things such as role play. 

How to Talk Dirty Without Guilt

As you learn how to talk dirty to your partner, you may feel ashamed, or guilty but the more you do it, the better at it you’ll be. Start small with text messages and work your way up to a little face-to-face action. It will change the way you and your partner do things in the bedroom, kitchen, living room, and laundry room.


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