He said he didn’t want to give the relationship a title, but what’s really happening is he’s stringing you along, girlfriend. I know… when you met this guy, Y’all hit it off right from jump street.
The chemistry was amazing. You were irresistible and he was charming. He’s everything you imagined in a soul mate, but suddenly you realize something about the relationship and it’s got you really thinking about the direction of this relationship.
You may be wondering now is he stringing you along or taking it slow? He said he wants to be friends first but he makes little effort to bond and strengthen the friendship. If he was interested in you, shouldn’t he
- Be the one who’s doing the most communicating
- Plan for dates as well as keep them
- Return your text messages or calls promptly
- Reach out to you on social media as he does behind the scenes
Well, from my experience, when a guy is interested, you won’t have to wonder about it. He’ll show you on so many levels, you will never have to ask how he feels. The fact you’re wondering if he is, speaks for itself, but let’s discuss a few of the obvious signs he’s stringing you along so there’s no questioning it.
Refuses to commit to plans
If when you ask him on a date and he has to get with you later, then he’s likely waiting for a better offer. If not a better offer, he has to check with someone else to see what their plans are.
His friends are boo’d up and he needs a partner
Finally, you get to hang out with him and a group of people but they are not necessarily his friends. He meets you there and acts so cordial toward you no one can decide if you’re a couple or not so it’s not like a real date.
In fact, when it comes to hanging out with your friends, he claims he’s not comfortable around them but can’t tell you why exactly.
Doesn’t want to label the relationship
Most men are proud to introduce the pretty woman beside him as his girl, so when he says he’s not into labels, it could be because he doesn’t want to commit. Putting a label on the relationship means you can tag him as a cheater later on.
He doesn’t spend time with you
Yeah, we’re all busy these days but we make time for what we want. We do. If this guy wants to see you, he’ll make time and sacrifices to do so. Real talk. If he goes for weeks without seeing you, it’s likely signs boyfriend is stringing you along.
He doesn’t invite you anywhere
Well, you should know when he goes everywhere without you, there’s either another woman in the picture or one of the signs he’s stringing you along. Pity you should all end up at the same place… the place he said he would never go.
Netflix and McDonald’s… AGAIN
It’s nice to spend time on the couch with your SO, but when it’s ALL you do, it’s not so great. It makes you wonder if he’s married or if he’s hiding something. When romantic nights consists of a Big Mac meal, Netflix and carpet burns, you can safely say he is stringing you along and you’re settling for less.
You should at the very least order pizza, pasta, salad, wings, and cinnasticks, plus a 12-pack of Heineken beer. A girl has to eat, you know. (kml)
Faking being jealous
You would think he’s jealous the way he acts when someone else shows interest in you. Don’t be flattered by this selfishness, honey, he’s just fronting. It reminds me of a dog pissing on the neighbor’s yard or a next to a tree. He’ll egotistically mark this territory to let another dog know he’s been there, but that’s about it.
What’s with the vague answers?
It doesn’t matter much what the question is, if you get too personal, he will never give you a direct answer. He may even answer a question with a question, throwing it back on you so you’ll forget what you wanted to know. Clever, but it works. But you can be sure he’s avoiding this subject for a reason.
Is it the Pheromones or what?!
When you’re alone together, he can’t keep his hands to himself. You think he finds you irresistible, however, it’s to appease his ego once again. Try giving him a compliment and see what happens. If he takes it, okay… great, but if he brushes it off, or feels some type of way about it, he’s avoiding what we know as an intimate moment.
No text, no nothing, until one early morning
He’s stringing you along, girlfriend, if he goes for weeks without texting or calling and then, he texts you the proverbial nasty gram at two in the morning. You want to be mad but those abs got you coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, you say ‘okay.’ What?! Geez…that was too easy but he knew this though.
You say it wasn’t a sext, but instead, he was feeling down in the dumps is why he texted. I bet you pumped up his deflated ego so he feels good about himself again. Answer me this: Did he hang up with the promise to call you later, but didn’t? Yeah, now who’s here to fix your ego? Wake up, sister… he’s stringing you along.
Stringing You Along: Dating Advice
With all of this said, you really want to be sure it is what it is. At the same time, you need to know what to do when he’s stringing you along.
You can bet the farm you’re being strung along if all of the signs are familiar to you. There’s a huge difference between someone who doesn’t want a relationship and one who is taking it slow. If you honestly want to know how to stop being strung along by a guy, keep reading.
What I do is write everything down in my journal. Sounds silly, but it’s not. The mind will play tricks on you, so I write down his promises and his moods. When I can’t remember something, he can’t convince me otherwise. I have it in black and white.
When you have to make a choice you don’t want to, it’s of benefit to have this information on paper. Besides, this will remind you how reliable he is or rather if he’s not.
Then, if you think it’s worth it, talk about your relationship goals and needs. When you talk to this man, ask direct questions and accept nothing but direct answers in return. If you decide to stick around, mark the date to make another decision.
You will then either choose to stay a while longer or leave. If you decide to stay, you shouldn’t complain about anything to your friends or to him. You knew he was playing relationship games and chose to stay. Don’t punish your friends with the drama when you knew better.
According to Alyssa Mairanz, LMHC, if your partner doesn’t meet you halfway, you should leave. Sorry, but I so agree. You deserve more than the breadcrumbs he’s feeding you. Now you know how to tell if he’s just stringing you along. It’s up to you to make your move.