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He’ll show signs he’s not ready for a relationship but that he likes me and when they are clear, you have to consider the situation for what it is or get hurt. The evidence is painful to face because you’re ready to move to the next stage. In situations like this, we must identify and own our perceptions, intentions, and ambitions and carry out some tough decisions.
You should talk about your relationship. My guy has been a guarded man for some time now so I was confident in how the conversation about a relationship with him would go. His answers didn’t surprise me and neither should your friend’s answers. I could honestly see how he received me when we hugged and how he dealt with me.
Have you guys had the relationship goals talk yet? You should even if it’s a new relationship. If this is the case, mention it to him by the third date this is what you wish although you’re not positive if it’s with him or not at this stage.
Read more: I’m Too Legit But She Won’t Commit
What Women Want
Women look for emotional connections from the man she cares for and a need for commitment. Whether it’s exclusivity, engagement and ultimately, marriage, he has to be a dynamic part of the couple.
It’s okay to require these factors. Most little girls fantasize about their wedding day and want to get married one day. You have the ideal picture of your life and it’s up to you to make it happen, but if you don’t express your hopes or goals, you may never have what you envision. You don’t have to settle in a relationship or wait for him to decide.
However, if you move forward knowing he’s not ready for a relationship right now, you need to establish a sense of security within the relationship. Having said this, there are guidelines you should observe. We’ll explain them so continue reading.
When He Claims He Not Ready for a Relationship
What to do when he says he’s not ready for a relationship yet? First, believe him, especially if you’ve only been dating for two months. Having said that, you should not be ready for marriage yet either, although the dialogue is imperative.
If you are ready to walk down the aisle now, you’re in too big of a hurry. Marriage is a commitment which you should not take lightly. Although he’s your world or you’re all he thinks about, this may not be a good thing.
Actually, this is a sign of trouble to come. According to Bustle, Rhonda Milrad, LCSW agrees with me. She’s a relationship therapist and the founder of Relationup.com, an online relationship community. Rushing into a relationship will have you rushing out of the same one.
While it’s true some long-term relationships last after only knowing each other for a short time, but the fact of the matter is, these people worked for it to last. They were more than likely practical adults with goals.
On the other hand, it could have been more trouble than the couples bargained for and they went through hell and back to save their relationship or marriage. Which category do you think your relationship fits into?
Help! I Can’t Breathe
Couples need breathing room, especially if they work together and live together. It’s essential to a fresh relationship that each party pursues the activities they both love and went on before the two met. Couples need time apart to bring more to the relationship table.
Let me remind you, the two of you are not a new couple after two years of dating, so if he has not committed, review the relationship. Many of us wonder if he’s not ready for a relationship should I wait? Well, my advice is to bring up the conversation again and see where his head is at. Use these tips to help guide you in your discussions and decision making.
Give Him a Specific Time
Sharon Martin (www.sharonmartincounseling.com) says there comes a time when you need to select a specific date in which you will decide either to walk away or to never bring up the subject again.
Related Content: Preparing to Become a Husband – 10 Tips For Single Men
This is probably one of the hardest decisions you’ll make but do it for yourself. He knows how you feel and what you want out of life so if he’s not on board, think about taking another cruise.
Should You Stay or Leave
If you’re not getting back what you invest in, then you must ask yourself are you okay with it? Do you have enough to see it through? When what he’s offering to the relationship is not suitable, and it’s hurting you, the thing to do is move on. Nancy Colier, LCSW and author of ‘The Power of Off’ adds you must value yourself enough to evade situations which are no longer working in your favor.
Be the Adult
Almost everybody wants the perfect relationship, but perfection is ambitious to achieve when humans have free will. If you are the only adult in the relationship, e.g. paying the bills, buying and cooking the food and cleaning the home, reevaluate the objectives you’ve set with this character.
According to dating expert, Jennifer Harry, these are definite red flags your companion is not ready to grow up and you may need to move on. On that note, you may wonder will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship? Hopefully, he will realize what he gave up and want to come back… I’ve seen it happen, but I wouldn’t put my life on hold.
Use Your Woman’s Intuition
Honey, the gut never deceives. If you tune in to it, you may discover the answers you’re seeking for within. Are you feeling uneasy about carrying out this exchange of dialogue with your partner? Then you already know he’s not going to tell you what you want to hear. Therefore we must be mindful about who we let into our hearts and spirits.
Take Your Time
I’m so tired of hearing men say, ‘Girl, you… we grown. What you scared of? Gon’ give me some.’ Ugh, yes, I’m grown and this grown woman is saying ‘no to the dress, boo boo.’ I’m not afraid of losing you because I didn’t ‘up’ the dress. It’s my way or the highway.
What I suggest to you is use the three-month rule and not have sex during this time. Having sex with him will only confuse you. You’ll start to have lustful feelings and confuse it with love… well, some of us. Some women can play the game all too well. However, I don’t and I know this.
So, if you feel me, while you’re in the exploratory stage, find out if your mate even wants the same things as you. He or she may not want a long-term relationship after all and quit before the three months is up.
If this is the case, you should not devote your time in trying to change his or her mind. If somebody wants to walk out on you, let them go, says Madea, a comedic authority on life’s problems.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
If you’re suggesting he is not ready for a relationship but he loves me, his actions will confirm it. Although this is a tough one to figure out especially when he is showering you with love and affection, you will still need to come to terms with the situation.
Many couples are blossoming in relationships without titles. If you can deal with this, okay… keep progressing. You may need to set guidelines, so have the conversation. However, if you’re the only one taking part in the relationship, it’s time you pull out.
There’s no doubt that loving someone who isn’t ready for a relationship is highly challenging and like life, there aren’t any foolproof rules or hacks. Each couple and situation is unique. What works for one may have the total opposite outcome for another.
You should trust if it was meant to be, it will. Sometimes we walk away and they come back, however, it may take some time. Use the time away wisely. Continue your life and pursue your goals.
As Elizabeth Cobb, LCSW of Cobb Psychotherapy puts it, “This may not be because they don’t love you but rather that the timing is off. You may be in love, but if your timeline is different it may be time to part ways for the meantime.”
Personally, I know what it’s like to be in a he’s not ready for a relationship but likes me situation. You should know he came back and I hope it makes you feel better knowing this. Communication is the key, it is absolutely necessary. It resolves anxiety and insecurities, but most importantly, it gives you the satisfaction of knowing you tried to work it out.