As a man, there’s one question that we all dread being asked. Who is more important, your Wife or Your Mom? It’s a question that makes men sweat, raises every pair of eyebrows in the house, and makes us pray the doorbell rings.

The proverbial question no one wants to answer

Perhaps, if you ask the marriage experts, they will tell you that your wife should be first and foremost in a man’s life. On the other hand, we’re taught to love everyone the same. If not, you’ll end up hurting someone’s feelings and nobody wants that, especially when it comes to family.

However, there comes a time in a man’s life where his loyalties are torn between his loving mother, and his adoring wife and so we’re faced with the overwhelming drama of choosing between the two. How do you go about making a decision? Well, without further ado, let’s stare down the barrel at this loaded question.

Those in favor of Mom

On one side, you have dear, sweet mother, the woman who brought you into this world and if you’re not careful, she will take you out. Naw, I’m just kidding… She’s suffered through your long painful birth, smothered you with love, changed your stinky diapers, took care of you when you were sick, acted silly with you, and has always been Mrs. Reliable when you need her most. In short—mom’s are saints.

Some dads can be a bit intimidating to talk over certain things but moms have a way of making you feel comfortable, warm, and safe. That’s why almost all men are Momma’s Boys. Yes, including me. Who wouldn’t want to be told how handsome they look, or to feel the warmth of a loving hug? Not only that but when you visit her, she makes your favorite meal just the way you love it.

She’s Supermom!

In light of this, how can anyone not pick their mother? Your mom is a magician of sorts, juggling the family’s schedules, making sure everyone’s fed, clothed, up on time, and eating healthy. They’re like home base in a game of tag, a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day, or the person you call when, shamefully, you have just one phone call. Mom’s makes sure you are taken care even if she’s not feeling well.

Sometimes, she’s the last to eat and the last one to go to bed. Mother is someone who has sharp detective skills and physic abilities… she knows everything! On the other hand, she’s probably working with the NSA, triangulating satellites and hacking into your computer right now to see what you’re doing and making sure that you’re safe.

Those in favor of the wife

And the challenger, the woman who you’ve taken a vow to honor, protect, in sickness and in health, to death do you part—your Wife. Your wife is something utterly magnificent.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh…. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:31-33).”

The man experiences a different kind of love for his wife than what he has for his mother. He took the time to date her, to hang out with her, even if it meant video chatting or endless text messages. You learned more about her every single day, and due to this, you fell deeper in love with each passing minute.

Butterflies in my stomach

I’m sure you can even recall the “butterflies” in your stomach when you first asked her out and she said yes. Didn’t you get super excited? I see you with that goofy smile.. you were thrilled and couldn’t wait for your date. (Haha, that’s cool though.)

After many dates and sleepovers, you decide she’s the one. She’s the one that will walk beside you every step of the way as you begin a new journey through life as partners. Once a man takes a wife, his relationship with his parent changes but you shouldn’t treat your mother as if she was unimportant.

Your wife’s the one who puts up with the dumb things you say and do. The one who will tell you straight up that you’re not putting a basketball hoop in the bathroom no matter how much you insist it will be better Feng shui. She puts her foot down and says it’s not and you can’t do anything about it.

Taking a wife

You see, my friends, the thing about marriage is that in order for it work, both the husband and the wife must leave the bosoms of their mother’s house and concentrate on a life together. Of course, you don’t stop caring about your parents, but your priorities change.

Putting your wife first shows respect and honor. When your spouse feels safe, there’s no need to run home to momma when something goes wrong within your marriage. Your wife becomes your rock and she is awesome at being her. Out of 7 billion people, this woman chose you to give her heart too, her trust and loyalty. In a society where half of the marriages end in divorce, you should let the word loyalty soak in.

When the two of you can work together to solve any issues you come across, without running back to your parent’s house at the first sign of trouble, it shows the parents that you are in control. When you rush home every day just so you can wrap your arms around your wife and kiss her with a burning passion, it’s clear no other woman will ever be as important in a man’s life than his wife.

The Winner IS…

I expect lots of people out there to be on the fence with this one. It’s probably a 50/50 debate realistically, but for me, I see it one way. The most important woman in your life is your mom. She raised you, and you will always be her baby. She’s always in your corner, and her love could never be broken.

On the other hand, I believe there comes a time in a man’s life when he must change the guards. Somewhere around the time when, as a man, you decide that you want to marry your girlfriend, it’s then that a man’s wife becomes equally important, if not more important. You want a long life with her as you both plan to have children and one day.

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