11ahleven Advertising 11

It’s been going on for some time now. Women choose to be the side chick for many reasons. You may have a friend or two who enjoys being the other woman. On the other hand, you may not even associate with women like this. Better yet, you may be one or have been a side chick yourself.

The side chick is not a racial thing, although many women believe it’s more prevalent in the Black communities. It’s sad to see it when Black women seem to be at their professional peaks. Women work hard to sustain a certain lifestyle without a husband of their own.

With that said, if you’re the side chick, you have a man though he is “notchos.” [pronounced as not yours] Some women agree with being the side chick and some don’t. Watch what the women on The Real have to say. 

As women, do we sell ourselves short in being the other woman or mistress? Some women agree that it is settling while others say it’s the best life. Why do we feel it’s okay to help a man cheat when we’re against the idea ourselves? It’s insane to choose to be the side chick if you expect to have a man all your own, isn’t it? What do you get out of it? Here’s a couple of ideas.


Some women love being in charge of things and will use their authority over men. They get a kick out of dealing with another woman’s guy. In some situations, they even know the wife or girlfriend. What’s more, the girlfriend knows the side chick and will even consent to his behavior.

Wait… what?!

What happened to the woman being outraged and hurt? Are we so liberal this behavior is okay? If this is the case, no wonder a woman doesn’t mind being the side chick. There aren’t are repercussions.


The rewards that come with being the side chick can be enormous or none at all. Why some women would do it for nothing is beyond me, but some women love their man for who they are.

That’s okay, but what bills can you pay at my house? I may be attracted to you physically, but this is real life stuff. We can’t play house and not pay bills. Where do they do that at? On the streets, I tell you cause that’s what happens when you don’t pay the rent.


Why Women Choose to Be the Side Chick woman sitting alone outside an eatery
Pexels-photo-Godisable Jacob

Well, I suppose there are cases when a man spends time with the other woman, but not so much and surely not in public. Time spent can still be meaningful. Not all side relationships are for fun and games. The two people could actually care for one another, but generally, dating without commitment doesn’t start out that way.

It’s Convenient

When you choose to be the side chick, there isn’t a whole lot of demands, including emotionally. You don’t have to do much for this man, it’s just for ish and giggles. Jamaican men are notorious for cheating, or so I hear. He comes, he goes and you can carry on life as if he doesn’t exist.

She’s Been Hurt

A woman scorned is not likely ready to get into another relationship soon. This could be one of the signs of a guarded woman. However, she would like to still have the attention of a man. The man she sees could provide some emotional support or satisfy her needs otherwise.

Friends with Money

Some women do it strictly for the money. Some men will pay the bills without question. If the woman gives him what he needs, he is more than willing to take care of her, especially if he’s the only man she’s seeing.

The Booty

Why Women Choose to Be the Side Chick woman appear in mirror
Pexels-photo-nappy 1092206

Men want it and sometimes lots of it. They will seek other women outside of their wives or girlfriends to get it. Humans Mag’s relationship columnist Ashely Moore agrees. If the side chick is putting it down, he’ll reach down into his wallet and pay for it. Making it easy or hard for the woman to refuse him.

Why Being the Side Chick is Wrong

For all the reasons why you are the side chick, there are just as many why you shouldn’t be. When women choose to be the side chick, she runs the risk of being found out and when this happens, there are going to be hurt feelings. The man is more at risk than you are, but sometimes, things don’t work out favorably for the side chick, either.

Do you know what to say to the other woman in case you meet her? There is nothing you can say that will smooth things over.  Not even in the case of ignorance or you didn’t know, she won’t believe you at first… maybe never. 

How long should you casually date someone before you ask those questions like are you married or living with someone? When you find out he’s taken, do you then leave? Most feel as though they have already invested so they stay. Don’t you think you deserve more, girlfriend?

The more you give to a married man, or taken man, the more you run the risk of getting emotionally involved or missing out on your blessings because you’re too caught up in him. You don’t get to spend the holidays with him, so you’re alone and you should be on somebody’s arm as fly as you are.

This video is a classic scene of what can happen when women choose to be the side chick and they are crazy, too.  Sometimes, people don’t live to make another mistake or have a good day. 

When women choose to be the side chick is a personal decision, but it doesn’t do anyone any real good. You play yourself when you allow a man to be dishonest, especially when what you really want is somebody to love you.

You May Also Like