she's not the one -- A red broken heart on a black chalkboard
Realizing she's not the one can be painful, but you can't live in an unhealthy relationship. image - pixabay

She’s not the one, bruh.  I’m sorry, but she’s not. In a perfect world, you find a girl, you ask her out on a date, fall in love, and she may not be the one you see in a magazine, but you live happily ever after! That’s how it should be, however, it doesn’t happen like this. 

Yeah, that’s the stuff of princes and princesses for children’s bedtime stories, that’s not how it is in real life. In fact, more times than not your relationship ends but because you failed to realize that she is not the one soon enough.

We’ve all done, let’s be honest, there’s at least one relationship we’ve been through where you look back to recall the signs were there.  More than likely you had a gut feeling she’s not the one but you ignored them.

Red flags she’s not the one

1. She Suppress Who You Are

How does that old saying go? Just be yourself and if that special someone loves you just the way you are, then you know they’re the one?

As beautiful as that saying is, what they left out is that sometimes you’re just completely oblivious to seeing yourself change because of how you feel about her. 

Any women who consciously or unconsciously manipulate you into denying your true self is not a woman you should not as to marry. This is a major red flag. You should feel comfortable in your skin around her, no matter how goofy, stupid, awkward, or beautifully weird it is.

“The One,” would never want you to change, nor should you just to make the relationship work.

This particular girl is the one who sees all your little quirks and still finds a way to motivate and support you to be the best possible you. If you’re not seeing this or more importantly feeling this from her, you may want to find out how to tell her she’s not the one.

2. She’s Emotionally Unavailable

Over and over it’s been said, relationships are a give and take and you can’t be only partially devoted to your partner it’s just not fair or healthy.

If you find that she’s unwilling to be there emotionally for you during the dark and challenging times, but you’ve been for her, then she’s clearly not worth it.

Emotional availability is everything to a successful, healthy relationship. When things get hard, she should want to be there for you as that shoulder to lean on to help you get through it.

Your relationship needs to be open emotionally to communicate what you’re both feeling and what’s going on with you on the inside. Without that, the relationship’s headed in one direction—down the crapper. If she’s uncomfortable doing this she not the one, brother.

3. The Copy Cat

Although it may seem fine that you both want the same cute future, with the same car or the same names for you adorable imaginary future children, the truth is, it’s a horrible sign. In fact, if you notice she wants the same future, you’re going to marry yourself.

She’s manipulating you into thinking she is the one for you, by using your similarities to make herself seem like your dream girl.

However, you don’t want that. You want someone who will challenge you. Someone who makes you think logically and who will validate why you’re wrong. It’s women like her who will force you to grow; otherwise, you’ll never learn or be a smarter, better man.

4. It’s mechanical

Feeling someone in a non-physical way is the closest thing to knowing unequivocally, that she’s the one. I’m talking about the feelings she gives you deep down inside.

You could sit in the car, or when she’s sleeping next to you, and even though no words are being said her presence alone makes you smile.

Perhaps you’re having the worst day of your life, and nothing is going right until you glance over at your phone and see her picture. Just the sight of her makes your day better. Anytime you’re around her, it feels right.

If she doesn’t she’s not the one. Being with her should not a chore.  You don’t have to think of things to say or what to do, it should come naturally.

5. Always Wants to Be Alone with You

Clingy! This is a big red flag for those who want to be around people. Although her display of affection is never a problem, some women feel that if you’re going to be alone, you’re going to be alone with them.

That means everything outside of your relationship slowly disappears, including your friends, family, and “me” time.

The funny thing is she went her entire life without you in it, now all of a sudden she can’t live life without you. It’s twisted jealousy and it’s controlling.  

She doesn’t want you to have a life or other relationships outside of her. She’s putting you in a cage and this girl not the one and she’ll never be fun.

Final Thoughts – she’s not the one

It happens to the best of us, and it could be happening to you right this moment. Sure, at first your relationship was full of fireworks.  Instantaneously, the two of you connected, but the real test is time.

Time has a way of showing a person’s true nature.  When puppy love fades away or the newness of the relationship wears off, you may begin to wonder who is this person.

Believe me, all signs are there, and if you see them, it’s time to realize it’s not a good fit and you need to find a way to tell her she’s not the one.


http://elitedaily.com/dating/doesnt-scare-not-one/1177566/

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Ryan is 25 years young and ever since he can remember, he's had a knack for storytelling and written expression. Who would have guessed he'd actually not completely suck at it?! Here are two more facts about Ryan: 1) He has ADD, which may explain how sometimes his thoughts jump when he writes (interesting) and 2) He daydreams more than he actually sleeps and that explains nothing, but you learned something about Ryan Wianecki anyways!