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Photo by Hunter Newton on Unsplash 498497
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Dating someone who’s dying is difficult, no doubt. You know, sometimes dating can lead to actually having a full blown intimate relationship and if you’re dying, is having a relationship something you want? You’d think the answer would be pretty cut and dry, right? Well, no, it’s not.

The answer is very difficult to answer. There are always two sides to every story so you really can’t make a determination too quickly. More than you know, people face this kind of situation and how they handle it may surprise you.

Who hasn’t seen the video of the young girl getting married just days before she passed away? It was a touching story that will likely be made a film in the future. Yeah, this topic is just that delicate, real and undiscovered. It’s better than it used to be, however.

There are dating sites exclusively for terminally ill individuals if you’re interested in dating someone who’s dying.  In light of this, no one has to be alone. This is likely one of the best online dating sites a dying person could ask for. I know I was shocked to see it, but why not, right?

The idea is actually brilliant. Couples can be straightforward with each other on so many levels because of the transparency.

Are Dating Sites for Someone Who’s Dying a Thing?

If you have a terminal illness, dating takes on a new meaning and so does communicating. I mean, when do you tell the other person you’re sick? Do you tell them right off or do you tell them when you’re on hospice?

The internet has made it so easy for everyone to date, but it can’t answer those hard questions. With the introduction of niche dating sites, there’s simply no excuse for not having at least one date per month.

There are dating sites for singles, married people, Christians, politicians, gamblers, and yes, for people who are dying.

Research returned a few sites for someone terminally ill like Prescription4Love but the link was not working. I also tried C is for Cupid and found much of the same for all sites except for this one – Dating site for terminally ill – The Idea Box.

The link redirects you to a screen that tells you right away “This is NOT a dating site!” With that said, I doubt Dating site for terminally ill – brackez7 is either.

I’m afraid to find out what Morbid Dating Services is all about.  If you’re looking for a recommendation, I’m sorry.  I can’t help you.   🙁 

Dating a Dying Person

Dating online is certainly more acceptable than it has been in the past. It’s more advanced with the matchmaker services. Singles are getting married because they signed up with a dating website. For many people, the keyboard takes away the awkwardness of meeting people face-to-face.

Because dating someone who’s dying is different, dating services catering to the terminally ill offer hope and support. They understand the men and women motives for joining and do their best to satisfy the needs of their members. Most aren’t looking for a trophy wife, but one with a heart.

Even though you’re dying, you should figure out what your relationship goals and priorities are. What is this person going to bring to the relationship? Do they come offering dedication, comfort, and concern? You should also know if you’re looking for friendship or a long-lasting love affair.

Some people don’t want to be alone, but people are different. Different cultures expect different reactions and attitudes toward death and dying. Some see the human expiration date as a reason to celebrate, others feel it’s a time to mourn and be sad. Whatever the case may be, you should want to be by the dying person’s side.

Dating Someone Who’s Dying: What to Do When Death is Near

I’ve seen death or something close to it. The dying process is something you’ll never forget. If you don’t know what happens at the end, keep reading. Here are just a few of the things you should do before they pass over.

samuel martins 631378 unsplash 600x400 - Dating Someone Who's Dying: Can You Do It?
Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash
  • Restless or subdued, your loved one can likely hear you so continue to talk to them.
  • Use candles lights opposed to bright lights. The sunlight and bright lights hurt their eyes.
  • Play their favorite music
  • Read their favorite book or bible passages
  • Ask your pastor to pray for them
  • Sit by their bedside if at all possible

No one can predict when and where death is going to happen precisely. It could be days or even months after the doctor called a particular date or it could be hours.

Dating Someone Who’s Dying: Signs Death is Calling

You’ll know when death is at your loved one’s door. The process is hard to watch and just as hard to talk about when you have been through it yourself.  It helps to know some signs to looks for.

  • Their hands, legs, feet, and arms get cold as well as their skin complexion starts to change.
  • Breathing becomes harder. Congestion makes it sound as if that person is gurgling.
  • They will draw oxygen to the body by yawning
  • Speaking is no longer possible but will make snoring sounds
  • Confused, agitated and restless
  • Will try to remove the tubes from their bodies
  • Dark bruises on the skin
  • Don’t go anywhere when you hear the “death rattle.” It sounds awful.  You may think they are trying to clear their throat but can’t. When this happens, they can’t cough or swallow. 

When it’s time, it will happen quickly. They will take a few short breaths and they won’t be able to do it again. Nobody said dating someone who’s dying is easy. If you love someone, losing them is never easy. The process is heartbreaking. 

At the End of the Day

No one can blame you if you’re feeling some type of way about dating someone who is dying but the key in this relationship is unadulterated honesty. It’s a fact no one knows when and how they are going to die. You can be hot today and cold tomorrow. You don’t have to be sick to die.

photo 1499651681375 8afc5a4db253 powerful woman - Dating Someone Who's Dying: Can You Do It?
Beautiful smile! Death doesn’t have to be all gloom… live a little – laugh a lot!

In light of this, I think it’s more important to live. Live your life to the fullest and that doesn’t mean partying like a rock star [unless you can], but it means giving each day your best. 

When you’re dating someone who’s dying you will need to let go at some point. It can feel as if you are all alone but you’re not. Still, it’s not uncommon for people to isolate themselves from people who love them.  

It’s important you educate yourself on the inevitable but until death comes, learn to enjoy your time together and make the rest of their life memorable. We not only mourn someone’s passing, but we grow from it as well.

And I know it seems crazy to start dating someone who’s dying, but doesn’t not grabbing your chance at love and bliss just as insane? Don’t deny yourself a good life with all the happiness you can stand thinking about the unpleasant times.


Read more:

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Can I Date When I’m Dying?

22 Heartbreaking Secrets About Dating Someone Who Is Dying

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Mikki Donaldson is a southern girl, a woman of color born in “hard time Mississippi.” She, like her town, has seen many hurricanes, but bounce back each time. Mikki is no different from any other person with a passion, late to bed and early to rise. The writer is a mother, daughter, and grandmother who adores her family and seeks to leave her mark on this remarkable and changing world.