Photo by SHTTEFAN on Unsplash
Photo by SHTTEFAN on Unsplash
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Men who don’t want children say they don’t want babies and women hear this but what happens when they have their babies anyway? Is the man responsible? Should anyone force him to be a father to this child and to provide child support? Let’s talk about it.

If you really want to know the answer, then you’re in the right place. We talked to real men – honest, self-aware, sensitive, good men and found some pretty hard answers.

Who is initially responsible for protection in relationships? If a man conceives a child while the woman knowingly knows how he feels, what are his options? Ultimately, the decision to keep the baby is the woman’s or say some people, basically, because it’s her body.

I, personally, believe the man should have a say if he wants to keep the infant just the same as I believe he has the right to say he wants childfree dating. But just so you know, if he wants to have the baby, he should be there for the child… hook, line, and sinker.

If the mother doesn’t want to have his child, she should not be made to take care of the child.  It goes both ways.

However, men who don’t want children should protect themselves from having any children and not leave it all up to the female. It’s irresponsible to leave protection entirely up to the woman even if she’s just taking a pill.  

In the case the woman purposely gets pregnant and keeps the baby, it’s her responsibility to provide for her child.

I know that just pissed some people off, but if the man said he didn’t want children, why is he made to be a father?  Getting pregnant just to keep a man ain’t right! Too many women are crumb snatchers themselves, riding the coattails of a man on the come up or already at the top.

They do it for the money and the child suffers because of it.  Now, the honorable thing to do is to have a relationship with the child, but let’s face it, situations don’t always turn out favorably.

On the other hand, some women need to be more careful in choosing their baby daddy.  The percentage of men who don’t want children and deadbeat dads is growing. 

Research reveals there are about 75 million young people [millennials] in this world and of that number only a quarter of them want kids. Why is this? The millennials say they like have their freedom… a lot and they just don’t want the responsibility.

Some men actually want to wait until they are married to have children. They believe they have a right to choose who they bear children with. On the other hand, some men simply don’t want children and there is nothing wrong with that. There are certainly enough reasons not to have kids.

At the same time, men know how many kids they want, too. Often, this interferes with the women they date… seriously, anyway. Few men want a large family, but those who do, are appreciated especially when they are helping to raise children belonging to another man.

Are Men Who Don’t Want Children Responsible?

In the case of the “rubber broke,” should men who don’t want children be ordered to pay child support? What about the expenses [doctor’s visits, childbirth classes] during the pregnancy… should he pay for that?

Elizabeth Brake, a political philosopher wrote an article published in the Journal of Applied Philosophy that states:

“if women’s partial responsibility for pregnancy does not obligate them to support a fetus, then men’s partial responsibility for pregnancy does not obligate them to support a resulting child.”

What Brake is saying is the two people having babies are partly responsible for the medical expenses and cost associated with childbirth.

Why Men Don’t Want Children

Little girls who mimic their moms and pretend to be a mother with their dolls want to be incredible women like their mothers. Boys view parenthood in another light. They play different games and fatherhood is not one of them.


Can you imagine the look on a boy’s face when he hears another boy saying “Let’s play Dad?” Nah, that doesn’t happen in my neighborhood. Do they play it in yours? I didn’t think so either. Girls are playing mommy though.

Unfortunately, not all homes are equipped with fathers or father figures so without a mentor, would a boy know how to play this game?

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Photo by London Scout on Unsplash

As a man who doesn’t enjoy children, spending a lot of time with one or two isn’t appealing, let alone three or four. Even when a man does have a wife and children, he is likely not as involved as the mother partly because these are the men who don’t want children.

But when you have children with behavioral problems and the house reminds you of a war zone, who wants to come home to that?

Kids yelling at one another, the door slamming, the arguments over the television, the remote, the last piece of cake, and the resistance over what to wear or to do homework can be a bit much. These images make you wonder why do people have kids.

Hey fellas, I have a news flash for you. Women don’t like it either. Those kids are getting on her last nerve, too and she could really use your help to deal with it. So, if you’re going to be there, be there, and don’t just take up space.  Become an advocate for the goodmenproject or “real men, real dads” movement.  

This Father-Daughter Duo is Serious Family Goals | Redbook

Don’t stray away from home, take control of it so this doesn’t become a generational problem. Girls get an idea of what a man is from their fathers and the men they choose in life will be the result of how she views her father. Do you get where I’m coming from?  

As a unit, you must make parenting work for you and not against you.  

Men Who Don’t Want Children Ghost

I recently read an interview with megastar rapper, Jay-Z in which he spoke about his relationship with his real father. His biological father split when the Tidal owner was 11.

The two didn’t meet again until Jay-Z was in his early 30s. Meeting him, Jay-Z thought would help him grow to his own children and become a better father but, he was confronted with another message.

“’But how are you gonna do it? You’ve never done this before. No one informed you how to do this. You don’t even have the tools to do it.’”

When adult size men [boys] are immature people, and they get girls pregnant, they ghost. Jay-Z refers to this also in ‘4:44’ where he’s speaking about Bey maturing faster than him. “I wasn’t ready,” Jay-Z says.

You have to understand the psychology of men who don’t want children. Men who want babies are afraid. It only makes sense the men who don’t want children are scared as hell.

They abandon their obligations and their children, sometimes without remorse. As a consequence, the mother raises the children by herself.

Without another man or father figure in place, how can a boy learn how to be a father? This is one reason why men who don’t want children don’t want children.

Men Who Don’t Want Children Conclusion

Bringing a child up in this world is difficult. If you’re not Jay-Z, you worry about having enough money to provide a good life for everyone. You may have to make sacrifices for the sake of the child.

Really, who wants to surrender their dreams to raise a child? It’s a hard decision, but women do it all the time. The give up their dreams of becoming an actress, model or anthropologist because now, they have bills.  They have someone depending on them for a roof, clothes, and food.  

On the other hand, many women are having their cake and eating it too.  They have successful careers and brilliant children, too.  

Related content: Why Men Don’t Want to be Dads

Bravo to those ladies, but to make co-parenting work, both parents have to be on the same page about raising the child and taking care of the child’s needs. That’s even harder to do if the parents don’t live in the same household.

I think when it comes to men, women should remember a great boyfriend doesn’t necessarily make a terrific dad. Listen when the man says, “I don’t want to be a father,” believe him and make sure he has protection and protect yourself.

If you absolutely want kids and he doesn’t, you should perhaps move on anyway. Maybe he should be thinking about surgery for men who don’t want kids.

If you’re serious about wanting a baby, can the relationship withstand this argument later if he doesn’t change his mind? You may need to think about dating men who don’t want children before making a commitment.

Read more: Advice for Men: If You Don’t Want Kids DO NOT Age the Egg!

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