Why am I so picky when it comes to dating? I don’t think I’m being all that picky. I just want an attractive, medium built, witty and intelligent man with values and a decent income, some height, his own life and he shouldn’t lie or cheat.
I don’t want to struggle for the rest of my life… I’m over 50… ain’t nobody got time for that! I can do bad all by myself! I ain’t saying I’ma gold digger, but I don’t want a man on a bicycle. Am I wrong for it? I don’t think so. [haha]
Have you heard you’re too picky when it comes to men? Well, is it true? I mean, now is a good time to confess if only to yourself. But your closest friends and family already know the truth. Are you willing to admit to being picky when it comes to dating?
It’s obvious you want to date. You’ve tried traditional ways of meeting men and became a member of BBW dating online. Both have returned some real possibilities, but you’ve found something wrong with each of the men. What you must realize is even you are not perfect.
Sadly, no one is and neither will any relationship be perfect. Not even the couple who’s been together for 30 years have had 30 perfect years. My theory is if you can put up with your sisters and brothers, you can deal with a husband.
I’m just saying, it’s all about acceptance. But let’s do some more investigating and find out why are women too picky when it comes to men!
The Difference Between Picky and Unreasonable
Sure, there’s someone out there for you, but first, you must decide if your list is unrealistic. You have a list, right? If so, you may need to separate your desires from your needs. Be more focused on what your needs are compared to what you want such as a specific height.
Does he really need to be 6 foot 3, wear a beard, and have brown eyes? Did you miss out on the perfect match because he made $5,000 less than your ideal annual salary? Yeah, if this is the case, you may not ever meet a millionaire and you’re being unreasonable.
Here are two prime examples of why you should not judge a man by his material gains – Charlie Wilson and Tyler Perry. As many people may know they were once homeless men, living on the streets and both are highly respected men in the entertainment industry now.
I’m not saying date a homeless man but an online dating site did show successful results of a homeless couple finding love. Now, if they can do it, so can you! Listen, I’m very picky when it comes to the company I keep as well, but I’m not unreasonable.
I dated a short man. I’m 5ft 9in and he was maybe 5 foot, 5. To be honest, I didn’t open my eyes to see his height until much later in the relationship. To me, he was a giant. I saw his personality and character. He was a confident man.
He was intelligent, funny and he made it obvious to anyone and anywhere that he thought highly of me. Overall, this Jamaican man had real potential to be a king – top businessman. If it wasn’t for his arrogance, we could have made it. [haha]
Enough about me. The question is “Are you too picky” or are you afraid of settling?
How to Know if You’re Being Too Picky?
Why am I so picky when it comes to dating? Lord knows I have my reasons. Maybe you are honest and you know whether or not you’re being difficult. Maybe, you don’t!
Here are some ways in which you can find out. Keep scrolling to find out similarities in the personality of someone who’s too picky.
If Your List Lack Values
We all want a life of luxury but it’s not a necessity. But what are your values? What kind of values are you looking for in a man? Check out a man’s values and you can see the foundation of his ethics and character. You can also tell if you could be compatible.
Stick to what you need or use the 80/20 rule, rather than make decisions based on what you want. In fact, it’s the golden rule… it’s number one. If you don’t, you’ll always have superficial relationships.
With that said, if your list is filled with restrictions based on his eyebrows are too thick, then you might want to rethink being picky when it comes to dating.
Stop Playing Physic
When you look at his profile picture, you’re quick to swipe left, thinking you know everything about him already. While pictures tell a story about the person in it, it doesn’t tell the future or nor does one photograph tell the full story.
There are times when our intuition kicks in and we’re on point, but what about the times you weren’t so sure. You looked two or three times, thinking about it. Could he have been the one who got away? Stop predicting the future and go out on a date with him!
Thinking for Them
Not only do you try to predict the future, you tend to think for others. You know this is some insecure stuff, right? Okay… just so you know I know. Why would you say this person is above you or anyone else? How do you know if your lifestyle is beneath them?
Talk about self-sabotage? Yeah, self-sabotage could be a reason why we’re going over this list of things you do when you’re being too picky.
Can You Make a Decision?
Why am I so picky when it comes to dating? Tell the truth… I have trouble making decisions, do you? With such an important decision on the line, it makes sense you’re being picky when it comes to dating. However, at some point, you must decide.
You know what you need… match those requirements with who you want. You’ll see the number of potential matches increase. Keep scrolling for other ideas on how to stop being so picky.
Why am I so picky when it comes to men and how to stop?
Yes, I’m picky when it comes to guys, but it’s a lot of pressure. On the other hand, dating is a lot of fun. Dating gives us hope for a relationship and a relationship gives us hope for love and marriage. I hate to break it to you, but you’re thinking too much.
Calm down and look at the relationship as it is good now. Don’t marry him up in your mind, none of that and especially when you just met him. When you think unrealistic thoughts, you take a risk of believing them… and then crashing when the truth hits you.
You should date for at least three months before you start to really think about the next level. During this time, have fun… don’t place so many expectations on the man or the date and enjoy yourself. Smile, relax… bring out your little girl and you may stop being so picky.
1Confide in Your Friends
Your friends understand you’re too picky when it comes to men. I mean, they do! So talk to them when you need some real advice. Of course, you still have the final decision, but you will need to make a decision.
This method helped me to quit smoking. It taught me by waiting five more minutes, I could quit anything by saying “I’ll do it in 5 minutes.” When the time comes, repeat the phrase until the urge is over. When you think about swiping left, let go of one of your hangups and swipe right.
Talk to this person and get to know them better. Who knows it could be the one you were looking for in the long run. One of the weirdest couples of 2017 was Tony Braxton and Birdman. Who knows what qualities you may find in a tattoo artist instead of the engineer you hoped for.
3Give Online Dating a Chance
When it comes to online dating, you’re a beast. The emails never stop coming in. Respond to the men who take time to actually write you paragraphs and not just send winks. When a person puts his heart into a project, it’s a reflection of their character. Stay woke.
Meeting people can be tough. If you’re too picky when it comes to men, then it could more of a challenge. Take more time to communicate with people and learn to accept them for who they are.
Give dating a chance to work for you, not against you. Traditional ways of dating work only if you accept the date and go out. How do you expect to find a keeper if you don’t go out?!
Am I Too Picky With Guys Quotes
I’m very picky when it comes to men. I come across a man who I’m really attracted to about once every five years. Evangeline Lilly
So what do you think? Are women too picky when it comes to men? Do we need to lighten the load? Comment in the box below. I’m interested to know what you think.