How to react when you meet the other woman? Ha! That’s a good question. I don’t know! I mean, you think about what you want to do and how you want to react when you meet the other woman, but it can be totally different once that day arrives. Do you agree?
Yes, indeed, it’s risky, but some women want to go there and they do. Sometimes, fully aware of the consequences, they come off surprised. Even if it was the other woman who seduced the husband, it’s still ultimately his responsibility to decline the affair.
We know he has the strength to say no. Lawd knows you hear it enough. He says no to handing over the credit card, no to taking a fabulous weekend and no to the Mercedes Benz, S class, of course.
But we have no real way of knowing all of the facts since you don’t know who’s telling the truth and nothing but the truth. The bad news is that the meeting between you and the other woman could go haywire at any given moment no matter how much you prepare for it.
When you meet the other woman
Wondering what to say to the other woman? I’m sure there are a few things you’d like to call her, however, don’t make it a shouting match. Control your emotions as much as possible. In fact, leave them in the other room or outside momentarily.
When you’re upset, you give power to the other person and that’s totally the opposite of the meeting. You want to accomplish what you set out to do and not be angrier that you met her and did not get any answers because you blew your cool. Here’s what to do.
Get the facts when you meet the other woman
Don’t assume anything when confronting the other woman. Get to the bottom of how the affair happened before you blame the other woman. We all know he knew he was married from jump street, but did she?
He may have told her the marriage was over, he was separated, widowed or otherwise not married. This happens a lot still today.
Choose how you meet the other woman
You can decide to meet the other woman in person, over video chat or a phone call. If it was me, I would want to meet her in person or at the very least, a video chat, but never over the phone.
You can’t see her reaction, other people in the room and besides, she can hang up whenever she chooses and block you from calling again. A one-on-one conversation is best for me because –
a] I can see what she looks like
b] She can see what you look like
c] You will be able to observe her body language and facial expressions
d] You can see obvious signs she’s not telling the truth like looking down and to the left [yep]
The negative side of meeting the other woman
Now, with meeting her in person, you put yourself at some risk. You never know what kind of woman she is. Before you “check” her, make sure she’s dealing with a full deck. There are some women you really don’t want to mess with unless you can defend yourself well.
Hey, I’m just keeping it real. Some women can box like a man. One punch and you’re out. I’d hate for it to turn out this way, but it happens. In the meantime, let’s look at other negatives about meeting her is that –
a] She really does know what you look like, and possibly try to provoke you later
b] She will trick you into believing her side of the story
c] She can stalk you afterward, making your life a living hell
d] If she didn’t know where the two of you live, you’ve given her an opportunity to find out
If she does decide to meet you in person, don’t meet the other woman at your house, for starters. Do it in a public place [some place close to the police department. ha ha! But real talk, ladies]. Tell someone where you’re going and the nature of the visit.
Lifescript.com has strategies that will help you as well. Still, another point to remember is to make sure your phone is on a full charge in case you need to phone someone.
To tell the spouse or not to tell the spouse
If you confronted your husband about the affair, you should decide whether or not you are going tell him when you meet the other woman. He will likely attempt to talk you out of it. He may think about all the things you don’t know coming out in the conversation and freak out.
He might want to tag along. On the other hand, he may not even want to go for fear of it escalating. This is truly one uncomfortable position for everyone concerned.
Keep calm and don’t wear earrings
We know you want to keep control over the situation. If you give the other woman any inclination you’re afraid, she will use it to her advantage. Remember the things you went over in your head and stick to your vision of a cool and calm meeting.
In addition, you don’t want to put your feelings on the table like it’s a condiment. Getting heated will not improve the situation. Stick to the uncovering the facts about the affair and don’t let her rattle you.
Identify why you want to meet the other woman
What’s the real reason you want to meet the other woman? Do you want to punch her lights out? Do you just want to know the truth? Be honest about the reasons for wanting to meet her and take a good look at what could be the results.
Is it for closure? If she’s an understanding woman, she will give you the answers you’re looking for. Will you use what she says in court? [This is another good reason to have a full charge on your phone.]
You don’t want to miss a word of the conversation when she’s explaining why she’s having an affair with another woman’s husband.
You won’t forget the day you meet the other woman
This is one day you’re not likely to ever forget, so is it what you really, really want? Every time you see a woman that even looks like her, it will bring back memories. You’ll remember her hairstyle, her fashion sense, what her nails look like and the shoes on her feet.
You may wonder if she’s prettier than you and that’s the reason your husband found her attractive in the first place. Is she younger? Does she give him money? Does he give her money?! Now, we just took the meeting to another level and I know it.
You start thinking about the times he told you no and wonder if he did those things for her. Well, whatever you do, don’t call her names and bad mouth her. Remain a lady at all times. Ask yourself what would Phaedra Parks do in this situation and follow her lead.
A lot of people have been in this situation. You can go on some of the best dating sites and still meet a married man. There’s never a 100% guarantee he’s being honest.
Milehighmamas.com has an interesting take on this subject. You may want to read it before you meet the other woman. I’d like to get your take on the topic as well, so don’t forget to leave me your comments below.
Confronting the other woman, some can say it was the best thing ever while others claim it was a mistake they wish they could take back. You have the advantage of knowing what to do when you meet the other woman.
The other woman may claim she was all innocent and ask for your forgiveness with a sincere heart. Or she will tell you she has no intentions of quitting him. I mean, I don’t understand why any woman wants to be alone on holiday after holiday.
Until you meet the other woman, the two of them live in secrecy like prisoners and to me, that’s no way to live.
Some say to expect this when you’re dating a Jamaican man, but even he can say no. I don’t have any sympathy for a woman who knows a man is married and continues to see him.
The side piece often deals in a fantasy world and thinks he will leave his home for the other woman. This does happen, but chances are, he will not. I mean, if the other woman wants a man who has to pay out child support and alimony and work two jobs, then I guess, have at it.
I suppose there’s more to life than money, but having it sure makes life easier and it’s one less thing for couples to argue about. Would you date a man who’s paying a lifetime of child support and alimony payments?
How long are you willing to support a cheater? And will you be able to trust him? You know Karma has a way of coming back to haunt you. Can you handle it if he starts cheating on you? Leave your comments below!