Healthy relationships require a little work from time to time, too, even if you’re dating a Jamaican man. We know relationships aren’t easy to maintain.
I can assure you keeping your partner happy is a process, especially as the years progress. Although I have never been married, I have had long-term relationships to even my surprise. Some of them ended simply because things happen… you grow up, you grow apart.
You have kids, you change jobs or careers and even lifestyles change. With this mind, how do you keep a healthy relationship alive in the midst of it all?
The professionals suggest answers to numerous relationship questions like this one all the time. However, the couples who weather the storms know best how they made it. Let’s find out what they know!
Healthy relationships -- advice from the experts
When we think we’ve found the perfect partner, it’s natural to want to hang on to them. However, keeping it together is not as easy as they portray it on television. In reality, relationships in recovery need all the tender loving care it can get.
You can’t always say, “I’m sorry,” and it’s all forgiven. In many cases, some couples feel like giving up. However, you think about the time invested and you realize you really do love this person and want so much to salvage it.
With that said, try these healthy relationships tips before you give up.
1. Talk it out
You don’t need a marriage counselor to tell you communication is one of the best ways… the only way in which to get to the bottom of a problem. You must talk about what’s bothering you in order to reverse the situation.
Remember, part of talking is listening, so when it’s your turn to listen, have an open mind. Turn off the phones, televisions and send the kids off to the sitters. You must be free to discuss whatever is on your mind and tell the truth! You can’t tell part of it… you must tell it all.
2. Make time for intimacy
Adult time should be a priority, however, we know sometimes we have to schedule a meeting in order to have any time alone. It takes two incomes nowadays just to pay the bills, feed and clothed the kids. In light of this, who has time or energy?
To top it off, if you’re an old woman like me, there are days when you could care less. I mean, I’m just being honest. While women may not feel like it, it’s definitely on the man’s mind. What do you do?
Sometimes, honey, in order to maintain healthy relationships, you have to put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of hand washing them. Otherwise, leave them in the sink just to steal a few minutes alone with your man to make him happy.
3. Table for two
We all gotta eat, but we don’t always have a chance to do it at the same time. If he’s running late for dinner, snack on something until he gets home and have dinner with him. [I think we’ve gotten away from the dinner table even on Sundays.]
Prepare one of those meals that make people fall in love. Pull out the good plates and use fabric tablecloths. Light the candles and put on some music. But please, please, don’t put on rap music or hip-hop. Go back-in-the-day and find love ballads.
YouTube Luther Van dross, Freddy Jackson or some Marvin Gaye. Now they made music for lovers. Oh another tip: If you like eating outdoors, set up out back. Leave him a trail of breadcrumbs or rose petals. Be mindful of what you’re wearing or not wearing [hint, hint].
If this doesn’t help restore healthy relationships, I don’t know what will. [hahaha!] Keep reading though to find out what the people say.
4. Gimme a break
Even people who have healthy relationships get bored with the same routine, including in the master bedroom. Switch it up a bit. If he’s always taking the initiative, be the aggressor sometimes.
Buy a blonde or red wig or a costume and roleplay. He’ll want to do this again, so get ready for it. You both may! [haha… I’m so bad… I know, I know. ;)]
Do this sparingly, however. This, too, can get old. BTW, do you have one of those stores in your town? Don’t play, you know what store. [kml] Pay them a visit.
On another note, if you’re always taking the kids to their activities, allow your partner to do it. Whatever one partner does, swap with them. This way, they will understand what you go through and will come to appreciate what you do.
5. The castle’s décor
Your home is a reflection of the two of you. Make sure it’s clean, organized and inviting. No one wants to come home and have to walk over stuff or wonder what is that smell. 😯 In addition, it should say the two of you live there, not just one person.
You both should feel as though the home is your place to have peace and quiet or a nice place to entertain when the occasion calls for visitors.
6. Take care of yourself
Your appearance has a lot to do with how interested your partner is. If you know your partner is turned off by your bad habits, fashion style or your weight, try to come to a compromise.
You don’t want to lose yourself but you want to appease your partner at the same time and maintain healthy relationships.
We all say that if he loved me, he would accept me as I am. That’s a nice sentiment, but we know gaining too much weight or losing too much can be turn off to the woman or to the man.
Essentially, you’re not the same person he or she fell in love with at this point, so keep your appearance on point.
See a professional from time to time and get your nails, feet, and hair done. This goes for both genders. In other words, you must still look attractive to your partner in order for them to feel drawn to you. Besides, looking your best makes you feel confident and sexy.
7. The beginning of healthy relationships
Remember when you guys were dating and you were so nice and polite to each other? Well, when was the last time you said, “Thanks, honey!”? Those little things matter. We forget to say “please” and take our partners for granted so much so, we do things blindly.
In the beginning, we were so attentive to the other person’s needs, that they never had to ask for anything. It was done, but now… we can’t remember the last time we did anything extra for our partners. [Umm, yeah… you know I’m telling the truth.]
8. Smile when you greet your partner
There was this one guy, in particular, I was dating… I always greeted him with a cheesy smile and a passionate kiss. Even a blind man could tell it did something to him by the way he looked deep into my eyes after I kissed him.
They lit up and I knew I made him feel good to be there with me. He felt appreciated and wanted. Come to think of it, I asked a friend how did his wife greet him when he comes home?
He responded by saying his wife always had lingerie on and dinner and drinks waiting for him. How do you react when your partner comes home?
9. Healthy relationships are physical
When couples workout together, or do some form of physical activity together, they feel better about themselves. Plus raising the heart rate mimics the physiological effects of arousal.
You don’t have to go to the gym. What about a game of tennis or love and basketball? Getting fit, if you’re not already in shape, really helps the both of you. You’ll feel confident and possibly, fall in love at the same time.
10. Take a mini vacation
Getting away for the weekend can do healthy relationships a lot of good. You’ll be able to breathe a different air, see different places and you can forget about your chaotic life at home just for a little while. It can make a huge difference in the way you see things and each other.
I truly hope these healthy relationships tips help you. In case you need more advice, take a look at this video from BMackwrites! Now, she bad!
No one likes to break up or to lose the fire the relationship once had. None of the couples said making it to the 30 year anniversary was peaches and cream, but they did it. So can you! Good luck to you all.