How men react to divorce is nothing short of pure chaos. Where even the calm demeanor of men could fall deep into a sea of self-loathing, depression, or even into a dark, fiery rage.

How do men react to breakups when most don’t ever see it coming? The answer is difficult, it’s one where there’s not just one correct answer, it’s all comes down to how well they can handle the emotional turmoil at the highest of degrees.

Men And Divorce Emotional Stages

It’s true, most men don’t ever see a divorce coming, and when it finally happens, it’s the shock of a lifetime for them. How men react to divorce will completely surprise you. 

Statistics show women initiate divorce much more than men because they typically are more in tune with their thoughts and emotions than men, leaving men completely blindsided about the news that their wife wants a divorce.

Stages of divorce for the initiator are different from the receivers.

You can’t predict how men react to divorce, no matter how well you think you know them. In the end, every man starts with the exact same emotion, fear.

Fear doesn’t necessarily mean a worried or terrified feeling, it’s more like am dreading feeling that everything you two had built, the relationship, a family, a life, is now crumbling out beneath them.

The initial shock is a lot to handle for a man going through divorce. Although all men feel fear, not all men will take the news of divorce reasonably, or even nicely for that matter. Men are simply unpredictable, chaotic beings when it comes to emotional trauma.

While some will venture into anger and silence, brooding over the loss of self. Finally, there are the men who lose a large chunk of their sanity.  

They get downright nasty and vindictive towards their wife, which could lead to violence, harassment, or worse. Yes, this is how men react to divorce, well, some of them, anyway.

All these reactions and emotions are how men react to divorce, regardless of how well you think they deal with their emotions. News like this is never easy to swallow, and their reaction to it can range beyond what you’d expect.

Men’s behavior after divorce 

When you choose someone to spend the rest of your life with, you are choosing a long-term commitment.  This is not just about living and working together, it’s also about building a family and taking care of everyone.

However, life after divorce for a man is harder because of the financial effects associated with it. For instance, like paying child support, paying alimony, and splitting 50% of everything you own.

If that’s not enough, more often than not the man is asked to vacate his home, providing another expense to his growing list of anxiety.


Anxiety has been linked to depression, which can impact mood, personality, and even actions. The worst factor anxiety brings out men is the increased likelihood of suicide.

In fact, a research study at the University of California concluded that men are 4.8 times more likely to commit suicide than women after divorce. Also, out of the men who do commit suicide, 60% of those cases are from firearms.

In addition, if you’re a man between the ages of 55 and 64, you’re 41% more likely to commit suicide over those under 25 years old who get divorced.


Now, even though women are less likely to commit suicide as opposed to men, women do think and attempt suicide more than men.

The only difference being most men succeed in their attempts. Life after divorce for men over 40 isn’t easy because, for some men, living with their partner was what made life conquerable.

How men react to divorce

Men will be stubborn, it’s in our nature to want to be in control of things, especially when it involves our life. Divorce makes men do funny things, and denial is a likely but a harmful feeling to get over.

Men can lie awake for weeks, thinking “This isn’t over, I can fix this. We need therapy or a break. I’ll show her we can change”. The sad truth is, very few marriage problems get resolved after divorce is spoken.

For some men, this isn’t something they can believe, us men are stubborn and hard-headed, leaving us to believe anything is fixable. However, more times than not it’s already too late.

Time is the only cure for denial. When enough time finally passes, they move onto acceptance and recovery. That realization finally sets in, that part of their life is a thing of the past, and the only step he can make is forward.

Continue his life, his job, being a parent, and eventually moving on past his past. Some men will take years to get to that point, although, some men never fully get to that point because of how men react to divorce initially.   

Final thoughts

Divorce may come out of nowhere and catch you complexly off-guard. How long does it take for a man to get over a divorce?  It depends on the individual and how he took the news of getting divorced.

Emotional trauma does crazy things to people whether the outcome is rage, anger, vindication, silence, or shock and awe, men react to divorce differently. Calm men become violent and angry men are silent and in shock.

How men react to divorce?  The only answer worth giving is with pure emotion.

Marriage is tough, but so is getting over a divorce for a man. It’s not easy and without communication, one should expect to have things crumble to the point there’s only one thing left to do—get divorced.


Sources:

Men After Divorce: Ego, Self Esteem, & Recovery

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kyle-morrison/men-after-divorce-ego-sel_b_3145814.html

How do men really cope after divorce?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/do-men-really-cope-divorce/

Image: public domain CCO

 

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Ryan is 25 years young and ever since he can remember, he's had a knack for storytelling and written expression. Who would have guessed he'd actually not completely suck at it?! Here are two more facts about Ryan: 1) He has ADD, which may explain how sometimes his thoughts jump when he writes (interesting) and 2) He daydreams more than he actually sleeps and that explains nothing, but you learned something about Ryan Wianecki anyways!

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