Damaged forever… that’s how I feel. I’m wrapped, boxed up, caged up in my… her memories. I’m trapped house up in her figure rings, and bubbles that form circles so serene, feeling like I can do whatever.
You see, Mommy, I’m so tired of being your alibi, covering for your lies. How do I know you lie when I’m just a little chil‘? How do I know you high? Mommy, I can tell by the look in your eye.
While she was out stalking her addiction, only once did she feel bad about leaving me alone.
It seemed like forever when she was gone and a part of me was happy… until she starting doing drugs in the kitchen.
Why did she think it was okay?
And “Why does she keep leaving me?” I asked the man in the sky. I was left alone, damaged forever, so she could feed her addiction. She thought it was okay because she didn’t get high in the kitchen.
Damaged forever, I would sneak out sometimes just to get away but she found me out this one time and started hitting me hard for unlocking the door. While she beat me until I screamed, “Mama, please, don’t hit me no more! I won’t do it anymore, okay – Please, mama, I’m your daughter – I’m only four!”
Why did you take us down to the drug spot? We should never be here, at least, that’s what I thought. It was hard seeing strange people crowd up around a car. I found myself feeling sad for the people they call a rock star.
I didn’t want to open my mind to this at such a young age. But this was my life story, so I forced myself to turn the page. Over the years, the memories certainly built up in me a rage! Dear God, I hated my mother for the part she played.
How is a child supposed to cover your habit you try to hide? I wish you knew the pain you caused me inside. I’m not here to judge you, Momma. I just wish you would’ve done better. But because of you, I am damaged forever.
Child abuse is very real and most of the time, it happens with the people we love and trust the most. Over 3 million cases are reported each year in the United States alone. Although there are many forms of abuse, a child should never suffer from the hands of an adult. Child abuse includes sexual abuse, neglect, physical abuse, and exploitation. Call 1-800-4-A-CHILD if you should suspect someone you know is abusing a child. That’s 1-800-422-4453. All calls are confidential.