The Ugly Truth About Loving an Emotionally Guarded Woman

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black woman holding her hair up and eyes closed
A guarded woman can be so beautiful and strong yet so delicate and ugly at the same time.

Loving a guarded woman is not easy, but if you break through to her, she may be a keeper.

So, you’ve met someone who you like. You think she’s cool, however, there’s something about her that’s difficult to describe. You’re not sure how she feels because she seems a bit shy or secretive. Could it be she’s emotionally guarded?

You think maybe she’s just cautious… a woman who takes her time getting to know people. However, one day you see her talking to a group of people and you go over to join the conversation, but when you do, she walks away.

I know… it’s puzzling, isn’t it? You wonder if it’s your breath or your arm pits. You ponder every scenario, but the fact is she is a guarded woman.

Being emotionally guarded, every move is a calculated step to put distance between her and anything or anyone who will interrupt her life and bring disappointment and grief to the peaceful existence.

This is called self-preservation, my friend. The emotionally guarded woman has been hurt enough to know where there’s smoke, there’s fire and fire is hot… it will burn you.

Therefore, emotionally guarded people are careful not to get burned again. So you see, she’s really not shy or secretive… she’s emotionally guarded.

She’s not playing hard to get

At first, getting to know loving guarded women will be awkward. You may think you have failed at every attempt to break the ice. This time, it’s not you… it’s her.

“She’s strong because she knows what it’s like to be weak.  She keeps a guard up because she knows what it’s like to cry herself to sleep.”

The woman who is guarded will not reveal all of herself at once. When you ask her questions, her answers will be vague. She’s not going to discuss the details with you in the beginning.

Emotionally guarded people are careful with the information they disclose to you and their actions will appear to be indifferent. So how do you get this girl to like you? Hang in there and don’t take it personally.

Use patience and persistence

Because of her past history with relationships, you must be patient with an emotionally guarded woman if you want to get to know her. Be persistent to let her know you’re for real, but don’t stalk her.

When a woman has been hurt enough, she will put up a brick wall. While you may believe she’s coy, she’s really not. Being emotionally guarded, she’s a woman protecting her heart.

The guarded woman won’t sleep with you on the first night or even the second night. You’re going to have to put in work and if you’re not interested in doing that, please move on.

She’s likely not interested in one night stands or playing love games. She’s simply not that girl.

Trust and love

In order to win her heart, you will have to earn her trust. To earn her trust, you must keep your word and make your actions speak louder than your words. A woman who’s emotionally guarded will watch your every move.

One other important thing – this lady doesn’t trust herself as time has proven that she is capable of making relationship mistakes.

There’s not a woman alive who hasn’t had her heart broken at least once in her life. A woman in love will make many sacrifices for the sake of love and somehow, she’s still alone in the world.

Guarded women forgive too many times

How many times have we forgiven the same mistakes and find ourselves still in love the very person who has hurt us? Women who are emotionally guarded generally love hard.

They go through the fire, wind, and rain to ensure other people’s happiness just to be alone in the end. When a man realizes a woman’s worth, it’s too late.

Loving emotionally guarded women

There are no two ways about it… loving a woman who’s guarded is going to be tough, but surely, it will be worth it. You may think she’s incapable of love, but that’s not true.

She most definitely is able to give love. You will have to put her first in order to win her love and trust, even when she’s being difficult. You will need to be understanding. Remember, she’s really not shy or secretive… she’s a woman who’s guarded!

Signs of emotionally guarded people

6Don’t expect compromises

Most married people have a routine and this is how they go about their lives… blindly. They hate change and any attempt to throw their routine off will be met with discord. These people can be inflexible! If you’re expecting a compromise, think again. They just may chuck the whole idea.

5The perfectionist

With all they have been through, they expect perfection as if this really exist. When they find a flaw, they will likely want to leave the relationship. Why? They are afraid of being hurt again.

How to avoid the stumbling block? Talk about your flaws and hers, too. Find a way to make her laugh about them and put it into perspective.

4Blaming the ex

Talk about her past relationships and really listen. Does she put the blame on all of the ex-boyfriends or does she admit her part in the failed relationship? If she doesn’t admit to any wrong doing, she’s not going to be open to your defects.

3Emotional abuse

Watch how the emotionally guarded woman treats other people. Is she angry all the time? Does she have emotional outburst filled with hate and rage? Usually, there’s very little tolerance for mistakes and hardly any sympathy for anyone.

2They are self-centered

Is it always about them? Are they on time for your dates? This could be a sign she’s not ready to become involved.

1She avoids commitment

A commitment? Are you serious? You can’t be, not with her or so she feels. A long distance relationship, she may be up for or for casual dating. There’s less chance of an emotional attachment so she’s up for the benefits of this kind of dating.

Conclusion

Before an emotionally guarded woman will lend her heart again, she will know exactly who she’s dealing with. She will make sure promises are kept, communications are open, and she has a safety net to fall on. The question is, do you want her bad enough to break down her walls?


Read more:

http://www.lifehack.org/310383/8-signs-emotionally-unavailable-people

Photo credit: https://my.desktopnexus.com/aussie48/

8 COMMENTS

  1. Love this. I feel like more and more women are putting a guard up these days (as they should) and I was definitely one of them before meeting my current boyfriend. Safe to say he was patient with me and stuck by my side until I was emotionally ready/capable of pursuing a relationship. Don’t settle for anyone less!

    • Yes indeed. I feel K. Michelle did an excellent job of putting everything into her song, “How many times.” I must confess, I am a guarded woman, but I’m okay with that… for now. 😉

  2. I think that emotionally guarded people have been hurt and put up this barrier in order not to be hurt again. If you really like a person who is emotionally guarded, you’ll have to be patient in order to gain their trust.

    • You’re exactly right. At some point, you gotta protect yourself from all the pain. It’s not good for you physically or mentally.

  3. I really relate to this post, I went through two serious relationships before I met my husband and I had a lot of emotional baggage from my past. Luckily the right people for you are willing to wait thins out and well be there for you, no matter how difficult you make things.

    • Yes, it helps to know if they are serious or not. They always say “If it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for.”

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