Why do people settle for less in relationships? I don’t know, personally, however, there are logical answers to this sensitive question. As a matter of fact, I explain to my friends why I am single constantly, but some how some don’t get it.
I’m good looking, independent, sexy and smart. They don’t understand why I am not in a relationship… like they are. They give me all kinds of relationship advice like they are the experts.
Too many time do I bite my tongue to stop myself from saying anyone can have a relationship like yours, if I settle for less, of course.
You and your man fight all of the time; you complain all the time that he doesn’t do this, and he doesn’t do that or you whine about what he did do. Who needs that? Well, I do not.
Why do people settle for less in life?
Why do women settle for a man they don’t want? What I am looking for is something healthier. The relationship I’m looking for will meet my needs for affection, adoration, and growth.
I want a stable home with our wedding portrait on the wall of our bedroom, a luxury car and exciting vacations for two. I’m worthy of this and so are you. Life is short and we should enjoy it while we can.
If the relationship isn’t making you better or your life, perhaps you should rethink your life’s goals and your relationship goals.
I want someone who will listen and open up to me, make me feel like a queen and he will do it because he wants to, not because of an arterial motive.
I want both of us to feel safe together and apart from each other. With this in mind, you tell me why do women settle for less in relationships?
Why do people settle for less?
I don’t believe the phrase, “Having a piece of a man is better than having none at all.” It’s BS… plain and simple. What I do believe is I can do bad by myself.
I know what it’s like to have a spiritual relationship first hand and I won’t be a statistic or a case study for “Women settle for less.” I’d much rather be by myself and save myself from the misery of having to tell them my relationship woes.
They certainly can’t give me dating tips. So, I ask the question – Why men and women settle for less in relationships? While you think about that, why not watch this video Black Marriage Negotiations (Woman’s Perspective). It gives a comical but real view on what men and women expect in relationships.
Why settle for second best?
Everyone deserves to be happy, but there is something stopping you from reaching your goal. I mean, I know you don’t want to settle for being his side piece or his FWB. You want a commitment, right?
Is it because being in a relationship means you’re not alone? Well, if you think about it, you really are alone. One thing’s for sure, you should not suffer in misery 75% of the time or even half of the time. Let’s talk about why do people settle for second best.
- We’re scared of being alone. Most of us crave the social, physical and intimate attachment that comes with having a partner.
- We don’t want to be lonely, especially when our friends are having couples night.
- It’s easier to deal with somebody you know than to start fresh. However, almost everything has an expiration date, the even metal will start to rust.
What I know is that you are in an unhappy relationship because you choose to be. There are no two ways about, but you can come up with a hundred reasons why you stay. Here’s how to know if you are settling.
Signs you’re settling for second best
It’s easy to tell, especially if you are on the outside looking in, however, you know yourself first hand and nobody really has to tell you. If only you were honest, you’d confess it’s true. If you see yourself in any of these signs, then you are in need of troubled relationship advice. Okay… here we go:
- If you say, “My relationship isn’t so bad,” but you’re dying inside. You reason it out because you know of others who are doing a lot worse. ( 🙄 )
- If you believe you can work it out, and you know you have tried and tried. Life’s too short, Honey to short change yourself. Some relationships can’t be fixed as they have run its course. Remember, some come for a reason, others for a season. Both have endings, however.
- If you are hoping that your partner will change… for you, then you’re fooling yourself. After eight years, you’d think they’d do better, but they haven’t… it’s time for a change and they have made it clear, it’s not them.
- If you are comfortable with your partner and nothing he or she does bother you anymore, you need to be bothered by disrespect or the verbal, maybe even physical abuse and even the lack of looking good for you or taking you out. These things are important to a relationship.
- If you stay because you don’t want to be alone, then you should ask yourself, who do you love more… your partner or yourself? Would you rather be alone and happy, or with someone and unhappy… for the rest of your life. Chances are you’re blocking your soul mate because you’re stuck in a relationship that isn’t working! Ever thought about that?
- I can’t give up the awesome sex we have! 🙂 That should have been number one because I have heard it so much. If all you’re looking to gain out of a relationship is great sex, then you really don’t need a committed relationship for that, now do you? I mean, I’m just keeping it real.
- Well, now we are down to the nitty gritty… the finances. My partner pays the bills. While you may need help with the bills, there are other means other than using a person such as getting a roommate that doesn’t require you to sleep with them.
There you have it… seven signs you’re settling. Now you know, what are you going to do? I hope you learn how to let go of a bad relationship. Decide to be happy. Mind you, these tips are not exclusively relationship advice for women, it’s also relationship advice online for men. To top it off, it’s free relationship advice!
Image Appleseed by Seifer