Who said dating in college was easy? College dating is not like grade school or even the last year of high school.
As a matter of fact, it’s toad-a-ly different from anything you’ll experience in life and if all your experience is with online dating, hold on to your horses, you’re in for a surprise or two.
College dating rules have changed since I was in school, but I hear a lot of the same hurtful comments, rude remarks and stereotypical stories when it comes to light skin, dark skin and interracial dating.
You can forget everything you learned thus far about dating because women of color dating for the first time must deal with a new set of old and boring problems; stereotyping and bias.
College dating advice for young women
When it comes to college dating rules, some women don’t know where to begin. Although 93% of the men and women interviewed are in favor of interracial dating, they still incur difficulties.
Dark skinned people find it challenging to date someone of a lighter skin, but a man of light complexion will have fewer problems dating a White or an Asian woman. At the same time, an Asian woman has her share of problems, too.
She finds most people don’t understand the differences between South Asian women. Not only that, but they refuse to listen when you attempt to educate them on the variances.
And because of this, you may want to know everything there is about dating a white guy in college especially if you’re thinking he’s going to make it to the NFL.
How does dating work in college?
Recognize things will change; you’re in college now, however, you may not have the support you once had, but you’ll find new reinforcements.
The Pew Research Center completed a survey in 2010 that showed most Millennials are in agreement with interracial relationships on college campuses.
However, people frown on Black women who date White me as opposed to a Black man dating a White woman or an Asian-American woman.
Interracial dating in a foreign place may stir things up a bit for the narrow-minded and it may change for your high school sweetheart as a young Black woman dating a white guy. Keep reading to find out how does dating in college work.
How to start dating in college
The first thing on your mind should be settling in and making new friendships, not hooking up or “Booing up” right away. Take your time, get to know who’s who and get the 411 on the drama in the dorm before saying yes to date anyone.
With preconceived notions about “hot Latina women,” Asian girls and Jamaican women, you should take things slow and have people get to know you… the real you.
No dating zone
Yes, we all have our dating preferences, don’t deny it. A White woman dating a Black man is considered normal, but it’s different for “halfies” or mixed breeds.
The survey reveals bi-racial singles struggle while they defend themselves against the offensive remarks from cruel and ignorant people. This could be one of the reasons why some White men don’t date Black girls.
Women of color say they don’t really fit in with other Blacks, Whites or Asians.
Black people don’t think half breeds are “Black enough” and the other races think they behave “too Black.” With this said, you kinda feel as though you’re in the Twilight Dating Zone.
College dating advice for guys
For the men who are reading this blog, when asking a Black girl or Hispanic girl on a date, be creative, but it’s really important you are not overbearing or “stalker dude weird.” You don’t want to freak out the girl of your dreams and ruin your chances of a second date.
Take into consideration that either woman runs on their own clock and time zone; BPT (Black People’s Time) or LST (Latino Standard Time).
Once she’s up and out of bed, she dresses to impress. If she doesn’t like to cook, take it for what it is. The family will make up for it when these ladies take you to meet their families.
When she introduces you to her family and friends, show your fun side and be confident in your charm and smarts, but never ever generalize the two populations or stereotype them.
Connect to the one you love
If you and your loved one are far apart, Facebook, Skype, and text messaging are great ways of communicating with each other.
The video chat works wonders for the visual quality of a long distance relationship. There’s one thing though – you don’t want to make a nuisance of yourself.
Texting or calling one or two times per day is enough to catch up on “things.” Remember, everything is different at a university than in high school.
Oh, and don’t be upset or jump the gun if they do not answer right away. Keep calm and wait for the phone call and a solid explanation.
Not satisfied with the relationship?
My rule of thumb is if a relationship or the person I’m dating is not making me better, then I have to move on without them. Life is too short to force a relationship to work.
Here’s to our mental health
Being young and a woman of color can feel like two of most awful diseases to have, but let me assure you there are worse things in life. Being bi-racial or having an interracial relationship is nobody’s business but your own.
Don’t let bullies get you down. Depression is a serious disorder, but it can be treated. If you can’t take medications because of your religion, treat yourself with natural herbs, roots, and foods that relieve stress and depression.
Thinking about hooking up with someone?
Dating in college for guys is different from what you may think. The guy you thought was “it,” was not. Guys date to have fun, so many of the relationships men seek are not exclusive, but college is the place most people make adult decisions.
If your next date is your first date ever, you may want to seriously consider what kind of relationship you want. Watch this video to gain insight on the types of guys in college you may encounter.
What do you want out of a relationship? Are you looking for friendship, casual dating, long-term dating with the possibility of marriage? It’s up to you to decide the relationship which works for you. I know you must be running out of second date ideas by now.
There’s no reason to rush into a relationship or even to invest in one. Because education should be your first priority, it’s okay to be single in college.
Having a relationship requires time and if you commit to a relationship, you will need to devote your time to a healthy relationship.
Voices: In college, the racial politics of dating are complicated
Why White Men Do Not Date Women Of Color
Image: CC0 Public Domain