A relationship without titles… what does that mean, man, and how do I benefit from it?
Do Relationships Really Require A Title?
I feel all people learned at an early age to see everything two-ways. One, how you personally see it, and two, how someone else sees it. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to love how they feel, but it teaches you to be open and understand someone else’s feelings.
Some of that gets lost in the translation when it comes down to relationships as most people are just stubborn and can’t accept another person’s view on a subject because it might not line up with their own.
Coincidentally, this leads me to the topic at hand, the question every woman already has an answer to. Can relationship without titles
What are you really saying?
I really only see three possible answers here: 1] He has commitment issues, 2] he’s a jerk and is keeping his options open to play the field, or 3] he just doesn’t need a title on someone he knows in his heart.
If I just get two head nods and a shoulder shrug, I’ll take it. Let’s see if I can provide a little insight on how to think like a man.
Can You Say Commitment-Phobe?!
Yeah, yeah, congrats, you got this one right. Some men just down know how to commit themselves to the relationship, thus committing to a relationship without titles. Everything could be there, feelings, emotions, but something just terrifies them into backing away.
Truth is, some men just don’t like the feeling of being overly attached to someone. In my opinion, this could be caused by a fear of getting hurt, unhappiness with how their life is going, or not entirely feeling as strongly about the relationship.
It’s really a defense for themselves, by not committing they think they’re in a stable relationship and maintain just enough of it where the subject of “the next level” doesn’t get brought back up. Ultimately, this does more harm to their partner’s psyche and causes them to rethink if the relationship is worth it.
Someone’s Hiding In His DM’s
The absolute worst part of having a relationship end is having a relationship end because of a lack a trust, and lots of side chicks. Let’s be honest, there are some men out there who will go the distance and “play” the role of the boyfriend without wanting to actually be the boyfriend.
Why? Odds say you’re not the only girl he’s been seeing. In fact, more than ever men are constantly playing the field, looking for something better or someone they can get in bed. It’s sad but true so, they feel it’s safe to have a relationship without titles.
Social media has never been more to blame. You’ve probably got the girl on Snapchat who sends revealing pics, a string of ladies stacked in his Instagram DM’s, and 10 matches on Tinder.
Men have so many outlets to get “more”, and with so many options it’s no wonder why some men don’t want to give the relationship a title. Why give only one relationship a title when you can put no labels on it and play the field without much guilt?
How Bad Do You Want That Relationship Without Titles?
Titles sound so possessive. “Your mine”, “I’m yours”, it’s like you are a piece of property. That’s why some men don’t like the relationship without titles. It’s not always because has commitment issues (he may though), it’s more likely he doesn’t want to be your possession.
Ironically, he may just want to be with you, as part of a healthy, independent relationship where how you treat each other, and what you do for each other matter more than entertaining the rest of the world with some title.
Most women believe the relationship should have a title to show a commitment level. However, a relationship without titles may be a bit more psychological for women to need to it compared to men. You’ve seen the movie Mean Girls? Well, every girl is out to get every girl and everything men have.
In fact, I feel it’s more important for women to label the relationship than getting a full commitment (mentally, emotionally, and physically) out of a relationship. The relationship doesn’t need to have a title to know he’s committed.
Let Actions Speak Louder
Men may be strange creatures, but we all don’t feel the same about the relationship without titles. First of all, I believe relationships lie deeper than titles, it’s more about actions than anything else. You can call each other boyfriend and girlfriend all you want, but if you don’t treat each other right, none of it matters.
I’ve seen friends who seem to incorporate the words “my boyfriend” or “my girlfriend” into every sentence, yet treat each other like garbage. Cheating, lying, canceling plans, and even calling off the relationship because it got hard.
Relationships are about actions, showing how much you care for someone else, being honest and loyal, showing trust even when your mind runs through scenarios that will never happen.
That other person should feel your feelings through your actions, and not have reassurance through silly words (words make stories, actions make results).
Final Thoughts On Relationship Without Titles
I never really understand the fascination people have with the relationship without titles, they’re just words after all. I’ve always been told I’m too nice… I may be a lot of things, but I’m not too much of anything.
To me, people may say I’m too nice, but in reality, I’m the average amount of nice, it’s everyone else is just more of a douchebag than me, so I stand out.
But that’s the funny thing about labels, they’re a two-way street. It takes two different minds to either agree or disagree with a title. It’s the exact same thing with relationships! Some people love the label as “couple” or “boyfriend/girlfriend”, while others steer away from that.
People are too quick to judge and make assumptions without actually sitting down and having a rational talk about each other’s feelings. I think they’re too fixated on being in a relationship and fail to understand what a relationship without titles is all about.
In conclusion, you can still have and be in a relationship without titles. You just have to ask yourself, “Do you want a relationship? Or, do you want that title?”
Want to read more? Check out Madamenoire’s issue.
Image source: Creative Commons